reach semis, get sex

If Ukraine's players want any, um, quality time with their wives and girlfriends during the World Cup, they better play awfully well.

According to a report in the Russian daily Sport-Express, Ukraine will have to reach the semifinals before its coach will sign off on any extracurricular activities.

When asked if he would allow his players to have sex with their wives and girlfriends during the month-long tournament, Ukraine coach Oleg Blokhin replied, "I would personally send my players to see their wives if we reach the semis."

Apparently whether they want to or not.

"Those who don't feel like it, I'll just drag to their wives," Blokhin added. "Take my word for it." -- FOXSports.com

That's motivation for you!

and the hits just keep on coming

Yikes, looks like the plot thickens for Rooney. It’s been revealed that he might have a hidden hairline crack at the tip of his fractured metatarsal bone that couldn’t be detected via X-ray earlier—one that doctors say is “an injury that takes longer to heal”—and this could confirm his summer heartache.

Sven, however, remains positive, saying he’s got a “feeling” that Wayne will still play even though medical reports strongly suggest otherwise. In any case, the Swede has requested for an additional scan to be done earlier, so England fans would probably get to know what the deal is on June 7.

You see, FIFA’s deadline for registering players is June 9, and if the result of the planned scan on June 14 proves negative, then Sven would have to go to Germany with only three forwards in Michael Owen, Peter Crouch and young Theo Walcott. Not on at all, is it?

Anyways, if the scan on June 7 confirms Rooney’s no-go, then at least the England manager can go with Plan B—promoting Jermaine Defoe from his sub status.

Not to sound like a sour grape or anything, but even if Rooney’s foot heals according to schedule and he makes it for the 2nd round, there’s no guarantee that his fitness would be on track for a tournament as taxing as the World Cup.

Crappy, innit.

latest from england: rooney on course for germany

Striker could even play in group stage

Wayne Rooney could play some part in England's last World Cup group match after scan results today suggested the striker could resume full training on June 14. A second scan will be conducted on that date to determine whether to give a definite go-ahead.

While the striker will miss the opener against Paraguay on June 10 and is unlikely to feature against Trinidad and Tobago on June 15, he could be available for selection for England final group game, against Sweden on June 20.

Woohoo!

Read the full article.

footie bit

England lost 1-2 to a 10-man Belarus team last nite. Tsk tsk.

On the bright side, controversial unknown striker Theo Walcott performed brilliantly, consequently instilling a little bit of assurance to English camps disheartened firstly by Rooney’s untimely injury and then Sven’s shocking choice of frontmen.

Fans would be even more delighted to see that Spur’s winger Aaron Lennon, another uncapped player selected by Sven, was an even brighter star. And with Michael Owen showing undiminished strength, vigour and skills despite having to warm benches since his metatarsal broke last December, England’s World Cup dreams are still not over.

Other than that, I can’t believe how many great players might not be able to perform to their greatest abilities (or, worst still, at all) next month due to injuries. The latest to join this unfortunate list is AC Milan/Ukraine forward, Andriy Schevchenko. Sucky…

Well, whatever it is, I sure as hell am looking forward to this whole weekend that’s packed with international friendlies! For the benefit of you ballheads who’re interested:

Tomorrow @ 10.55pm Germany vs Luxembourg (live)
Sunday @ 1.55am Denmark vs Paraguay (live)
Sunday @ 4am Switzerland vs Ivory Coast (delayed)
Monday @ 1am Croatia vs Iran (delayed)

All matches are to be aired on Astro Supersport.

pay-to-pee loos in school?

NST reported today that SRK Infant Jesus Convent in Johor Bahru is charging their primary-school students a fee of 10 sen to use the loo.

Their excuse? To recover the RM60K spent by the PTA presumably on upgrading the quality of the little kids’ rooms. Also, some of the teachers said that this move was needed in order to discourage the kids from hanging out in the new toilets. Apparently, “many students are excusing themselves from classes to go to the toilet. This is disrupting lessons.” During recess, however, admittance is free.

I think it’s ridiculous to make these little kids pay, especially if they’re like my brother and need to relieve himself ever-so-often. Hey, can’t blame him and others alike for having healthy bladders! Think about it. 10 sen is quite a lot of money especially if your whole-day’s allowance is just 50 sen.

And don’t even think of telling them to hold it in (which is what many of the students are reportedly doing) because hello, have you ever heard of batu karang?One parent revealed that some of these children were reluctant to drink a lot for fear of having to “go” at school.

How anyone—teachers, especially—can be so cruel to the little ones is beyond me, really.

Look, all they gotta do is be like my teachers way back when: have stringent rules about going to the toilet during teaching hours.

* No one could go without a pass, and each class only has 2/3 passes.
* Each pass only entitles you to be out of class for a maximum of 10 minutes, after which the teacher/prefects will go looking for you.
* Since we had more than one toilet, they were segregated, i.e. Toilet A is strictly for Standards 1 & 2, Toilet B for Standards 3 & 4, Toilet C for Standards 5 & 6.
* If any of the above rules weren’t adhered to, the guilty student will be punished, i.e. perform litter duties for a week.

As for getting back monies spent, heck, the PTA should just be more pro-active throughout the year(s) and organise various stuff that will bring about cash inflow like School Food Day.

At the same time, they can just be honest with the parents and write a letter out to them with the title “RE: Donations For The Betterment Of The School.” Yes, it will take a long time, but hey, so will collecting 10 sen from each kid!