Friday, March 03, 2006

through fat and thin

Confession: I am an avid listener of ERA.

A lot of my mates—most of whom are Malays whose first language is English—will give me a LOOK whenever I admit this this. With a wrinkly wince, they'll blurt out that they just can't understand why.


I am Malay.

I love Malay and Indo music.

And I am an ardent supporter of the local music scene.

So, why not ERA?

Anyways, I'm getting carried away from the whole point of this entry here. Calm down, o' mighty angst. Booyakasha!

Now where was I? Oh, right. I listen to ERA. And from time to time, I'll hear excerpts of advice from Dato' Dr Fadhilah Kamsah. For those not in the know, this man is a highly regarded motivational figure whose speciality is anything and everything on marriage and wedded bliss.

Today's tip truly caught my attention. The Dato' started off with this reminder, especially dedicated to all husbands out there:
You chose to marry her; don't you ever forget that.

As such, hubbies should accept their wifeys as they are. Stop complaining about her size 34 waist, and about how it used to be a sweet, tight 24". I mean, what, did you seriously think that she was going to stay young and slender (and for that fact, free of wrinkles) forever? Wake up and grow up, please!

The best part of Dato' Dr Fadhilah Kamsah's advice?
"Awak-awak tu, pinggang awak tu ramping ke? Nak isteri yang cun melecun, tapi awak tu cun melecun ke?"

Ambik kau.

But while I agree completely with our Dato' Dr. Love, that's not to say that you should take things for granted. Many people are guilty of becoming complacent when they've been with their partners for a considerable amount of time. Some even have the mindset of "We're married already, so why should I go out of my way to impress him with my looks? If he truly loves me, he should accept me in any condition."

Yes, it's true that he should love you no matter what, but is there anything wrong with maintaining your beauty? Muslim wives are even encouraged to beautify themselves whenever they're around their hubbies. Think of it this way, if you practice this, not only will you earn big brownie points with your man, but you'll also score some pahala along the way. It's a win-win situation for us women, really!

I'm not saying that you should deprive yourself of epicurean pleasures. Notice that I used the term "maintaining your beauty" and not "maintaining your weight," so please don't starve yourself silly for your man because trust me, it ain't worth it.

As for the men, the next time you wanna grumble about your queen's seemingly rounder behind and/or thicker love handles, look in the mirror first lah, brader. If instead of a six pack you see one "prosperous" pack, then perhaps tis best that you just bite your tongue ;Þ


cat, circus and oddity said...

you said it!

Shaike said...

I agree..some wives dont bother to take care of themselves, mcm mana husband tak cari lain...One more thing my advise to wives, lose the kaftan or baju kelawar when at home..its a major turn off!

UrbanProphet said...

I may regret saying this as I'm sure a special someone out there will make me choke on these words later. Many men fall victim to misrepresentation; you think u've scored a sweet little Ms Muffet, but in actuality you've found urself Atilla the Hun in hiding. If u really luv someone, in ur eyes they will be the most beautiful/handsome person u've ever met, and this doesn't change for as long as u keep on loving the person. If they gain or lose weight, grow old or ugly, u simply won't see it. Infidelity usually stems from more than just the outward appearance of ur spouse, it's their demeanor and how they treat or mistreat u that causes most people to go astray. I do agree that u have to respect the fact that u married the girl, but if after marriage, a few years down the line, ur going home each evening to Attila waving a hefty axe at ur face, infidelity may suddenly seem like a pleasant escape. Of course, this works both ways. Pokoknye, is that both sides have to keep the relationship as loving and caring as when it started. Simply put, why would would u wanna go out for a burger when u have a steak at home? ;-p

*CaTWoMaN* said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
*CaTWoMaN* said...

isn't it peculiar (and dare i say, expected, HaH) that both the guys who responded associate this post with straying?

when not even once did i mention about attitude/personality trait.

guys, this piece was merely about matters of EXTERNAL beauty.

besides, there's no reason in the world that would okay anyone--be it male or female--to escape to infidelity, because hey, that's all it will ever be: AN ESCAPE ;Þ

communication, respect and selflessness, people. these are key to a happy, shiny relationship ;)