Thursday, April 27, 2006

oregon man survives 12 nails to the head

33-year-old meth user attempted suicide using nail gun, doctors say

PORTLAND, Ore. -- An Oregon man who went to a hospital complaining of a headache was found to have 12 nails embedded in his skull from a suicide attempt with a nail gun, doctors say.

Surgeons removed the nails with needle-nosed pliers and a drill, and the man survived with no serious lasting effects, according to a report on the medical oddity in the current issue of the Journal of Neurosurgery.

The unidentified 33-year-old man was suicidal and high on methamphetamine last year when he fired the nails—up to 2 inches in length—into his head one by one.

The nails were not visible when doctors first examined the man in the emergency room of an unidentified Oregon hospital a day later. Doctors were surprised when X-rays revealed six nails clustered between his right eye and ear, two below his right ear and four on the left side of his head.

The study did not say how long the nails were, and a hospital spokeswoman refused to release that information. A photo published in the study suggests the nails range from 1½ to 2 inches long.

No one before is known to have survived after intentionally firing so many foreign objects into the head, according to the report, written by Dr. G. Alexander West, the neurosurgeon who oversaw the treatment of the patient.

The man at first told doctors he had had a nail gun accident, but later admitted it was a suicide attempt.

The nails came close to major blood vessels and the brain stem but did not pierce them. The patient was in remarkably good condition when he was transferred to Oregon Health & Science University in Portland, where the nails were removed.

The patient was later transferred to psychiatric care and stayed under court order for nearly a month before leaving against doctors’ orders. --

Perhaps this dude's survival wasn't affected by the nails because his brains were so fried from all the ice in the first place! ;Þ

chinese women busting out of small bras

As diet gets fattier, bustlines expand as well as waistlines

BEIJING -- Bra producers have been forced to offer bigger cup-sizes in China because increased calorie consumption is busting all previous chest measurement records.

“It’s so different from the past when most young women would wear A- or B-cup bras,” Triumph brand saleswoman Zhang Jing told the Shanghai Daily from the Landmark Plaza of China’s commercial hub.

“You...never expect those thin women to have such nice figures if they are not plastic.”

The report, appearing on the daily's Web site, said that the Hong Kong-based lingerie firm Embry Group no longer produces A-cups for larger chest circumferences and has increased production of C-, D- and E-cup bras to meet
pressing demand.

The Beijing Institute of Clothing Technology released a report last week saying the average chest circumference of Chinese women has risen by nearly 1 cm (0.4 inch) to 83.53 cm (32.89 inches) since the early 1990s, the daily said.

This phenomenon, it said, was due to women eating more calories and taking part in more sports.

Similar growth in the average height of children prompted a rethink last year in Beijing on the height allowance for free bus rides. --

Hrmmm, interesting...

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

an uninspiring tale

I’m tired.

So very tired.

I wake up in the mornings, hoping to feel refreshed, but instead I feel exhausted. Sluggish. Lacklustre.

It’s been like this for the past God-knows-how-long. Got too much on my mind. Too much on my plate.

Before, at least I’d have futsal to take it out on. Now, though, futsal seems to be slipping away slowly. It’s just not the same anymore. Maybe it’s the environ around me. Maybe it’s me.

But the ultimate thing that’s bogging me down is definitely work. It’s been brainstorm after brainstorm, day after day. I thought I came here to write. Man, how wrong was I.

Can you imagine sitting around and squeezing your brain’s juices for a minimum of 5 hours every day on top of the daily chores?

It’s absolutely mind-numbing, absolutely draining.

I’m tired.

So very tired...

Friday, April 21, 2006

princess or pickpocket?

I’ve never really been a fan of Tom Cruise's nor Katie Holmes's. I mean, I don’t not like them, but I don’t like them, either... you know what I mean. But the current hoo-ha on them, I simply can't resist.

Now, so everyone knows that Tom Cruise+Katie Holmes’s baby was born this week. Christened as Suri Cruise, the world wonders about this apparently unique choice of name.

Earlier reports say that Daddy Tom cited the clever double meaning behind “Suri”—“red rose” in Persian, as well as "princess" in Hebrew (the name’s supposed origin)—as the reason behind their choice.

Aww, how sweet, right?


It seems Hebrew speakers across the globe are raising their eyebrows at Cruise. They say that “Suri” has only two meanings: (1) A Syrian, and (2) a manner of shooing a female!

It gets worse:
"Hebrew expert Jonathan Went says, 'I think it's fair to say they have made a mistake here. There are variations of the way the Hebrew name for princess is spelt but I have never seen it this way.' Suri can also be translated into a Hindi boy's name, and it also means "pointy nose" in some Indian dialects and "pickpocket" in Japanese." --
Oh me, oh my. I wonder how Mr Mission Impossible is gonna get himself and his family out of this mess...

ain't technologically handicapped no mo', yo


Got me a brand-new celly
One that’s oh-so funky
Oh-so funky like me!

Many call it the “twister,” as the keypad does an impressive twisting action to switch from phone to (2 megapixel) camera mode.

Twist a further 90˚ and the snazzy Nokia 3250 transforms into a music player, complete with play/pause, stop, forward and rewind buttons. One which comes with a 512MB MicroSD card, which means that my new phone is also my new mp3 player that can hold over 300 high-quality tunes (or circa 750 songs if I upgrade to a 1GB MicroSD).

Love the looks (surprise, surprise: though it comes in pink, green and silver, me who loves colour settled for the sleek all-black; go figure). Love the sound (music+phone=two of the most important stuff in my life). Love the brand (my motto: it's Nokia or nothing, hah!).

Could be less bulky, though…

Oh well. Can’t have everything, right?

More about the Nokia 3250 here.

Monday, April 10, 2006

my grand heartbreak

Everyone who knows me will know darn well that I am very, very attached to my cell phone. I go everywhere with it (yes, even the loo ;Þ ), and am totally stupefied without it. In the words of my boss, “it’s like you’re velcroed to the thing.”

I’ve been using cellies since 1996, changed them not more than once every two years, so that makes it five different ones in total.

Being one of the few things that I cherish most in this whole wide world, I take great care of my phone, and am usually very careful with it. Call me a drama queen, but I seriously treat my phone like it’s royalty.

Why? Because my celly’s always been a dear, trusted friend. Always there for me through thick, thin and boredom. It’s been my saviour during emergencies, and has always provided comfort whenever fear kicks in for whatever reason. Heck, I can’t even get a shut eye unless I know that my celly’s right by my side, for only then will I get the peace of mind of being safe.

To cut a long story short, I can boldly say that what I have with my cell phone is an intense love affair.

So you can imagine how crushed I am right now that I lost my sweet Nokia 7610 over the weekend. Why? All due to a moment’s carelessness. Everything, lost, within a matter of minutes.

The shitty part is that I have loads of pictures in there that I haven’t managed to upload. Why? Because my PC at home’s currently so effed up, it can’t take much right now.

The shittier part is because of this, I have no back-up of my contacts. That’s circa 800 numbers in there, people. That’s ten friggin years of personal collection.

The shittiest part is, some of my fondest memories in the form of messages are in there. Almost everything that I’ve ever received and sent from/to my bebé from the first time we met. Not forgetting the other sweet stuff I got from time to time from other dear friends. Call me a sentimental fool, but these are (were) some of my most prized possessions in life.

My significant other tells me to not dwell over this loss, to just get over it, to just move on. It’s easier said than done, for serious… Especially since I don’t have the finances to get meself a new phone :(

I hate being technologically handicapped. I hate feeling so incomplete, so lost, so… dead.

roo who?

Another bitter rival welcomed at the holy grounds of Old Trafford, another bitter rival beaten at the holy grounds of Old Trafford.

Not to mention, another outstanding display from young Wayne Rooney, the scorer of one and the provider of another in our 2-0 win over Arsenal last night.

May Man United continue to play brilliantly... and may Chelsea do the complete opposite, amen.

I leave you now with these great words...
Suave Arsenal no match for grand masters United

Arsenal must be developing a tax exile's taste for foreign parts. They could never make themselves as comfortable at Old Trafford as they had in the Bernabéu or the Stadio delle Alpi. Manchester United fully deserved this win that gives them a run of nine Premiership victories in a row. The visitors, following the midweek Champions League match, did wane in the second half here but United had made absolutely sure that they would tire.

It could all have gone wrong for Arsenal even sooner than it did. The fixture did not bedevil the referee as it has done in its unruly past but Graham Poll should still have left the ground with his mind churning. By then he would have heard all about his 43rd-minute error, when he failed to see that the defender Kolo Touré had palmed Wayne Rooney's shot on to the post with a dive that would have done credit to a goalkeeper. At least we now know why the Ivorian wears gloves. --

Friday, April 07, 2006

brouhaha @ office

It's Friday. Which means, people around the office are either much nicer because the weekend's a mere sniff away, or downright meaner since the weekend's still not here yet.

This morning, while negotiating with my eyelids to please, please stay open, a senior-ranking colleague came stomping in my direction. Thankfully, it wasn't me she was pissed off at but the new dude in the next cubicle.

Apparently, she overheard the latter's conversation with the IT guys, and was enraged at how impolite (F word and all) it was.

Senior Colleague: You new people have no right to speak in such fashion, much less use swear words!

New Dude: Hey, I wasn't cursing at the IT person, but at the situation!

Senior Colleague: It doesn't matter. Why must you be so rude about it?

New Dude: What is up with you people in this company? Why is everyone here so uptight?

Big mistake.

Senior Colleague: Well, excuse us, but we have values here!

New Dude: Who are you to talk like this to me?

BIGGER mistake. She's only the deputy head of one of the departments, and has served this company for God-knows-how-long.

I say, God speed, New Dude.

I also say, I ought shake hands with the new dude. Because thanks to him, my eyelids became scared shitless, and refused to misbehave anymore. Well, not until after lunch, anyways.

Anywho, if you found my war-in-the-office tale inspiring, then have I got some goodies in store for you below. Enjoy. But don't you dare for a second think that these great stuff were written by me (though I sure wish that I did come up with some of 'em!).

Creative Comebacks For The Workplace

1. Obviously you're unable to assimilate my stimulating concepts into your blighted and simplistic world-view.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

4. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?!?

5. I'll give you a nice, shiny quarter if you'll go away.

6. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

7. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

8. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

9. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

10. How about never? Is never good for you?

11. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

12. You're just jealous because the little voices talk to ME.

13. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

14. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

15. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.

And my favourites...

16. I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.

17. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

18. You sound reasonable. It must be time to up my medication.

19. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

20. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

Happy picking that fight :)

Thursday, April 06, 2006

man utd will push chelsea "very close" -- beckham

David Beckham has tipped former club Manchester United to push Chelsea "very close" in the race for the Premiership.

England and Real Madrid midfielder Beckham has watched his former Old Trafford team-mates reduce Chelsea's lead at the top to seven points.

And he told the Daily Mirror: "I think it can go all the way to the wire, I really do. You never know because Chelsea still have a seven-point advantage but I do think it is going to be very close because United are playing well.

"Their performances are great, they are scoring goals and they have so many players within the team who can get goals like Wayne Rooney, Ruud (van Nistelrooy) and (Louis) Saha. And they are all playing well.

"Chelsea have got a great team and a strong manager so we will see but I think United are on a roll and it's going to be much closer than people expect.

"I am really looking forward to seeing what happens."


You and us all, Becks.

Oh, and whatever happens, however much Real is struggling, don't you fear. As I will always and forever love you, my darling hubby. Don't you ever doubt that ;)

and then there were four

Well well well… Arsenal added an entry into their history books this morning when they advanced to their first-ever Champions League semi-finals.

Being a Man U fan, I have a love-hate relationship with this result. Hate it, due to obvious reasons—dengki lah, what else ;Þ On a more serious note, love it because I have a soft spot for English teams to do well at Europe.

Now, what I love-love is the fact that my favourite Spanish team, Barcelona, also booked a spot in the other semis. And great as they are, it wasn’t all cookies and cream for Barça, no way José (more apt if to sub this for “no way, Frank”, no?). Their opponent's a strong side, this season’s dark horse which bulldozed over Manchester United as well as Liverpool.

In fact, Benfica seemed a threatening force, which resulted in Barça kicking off looking somewhat nervous and shaky. And it totally did not help that in the fourth minute, Ronaldinho’s penalty kick was saved by Benfica’s keeper, Moretto de Souza who was as marvellous as he was yummy ;)

But Ronnie refused to dwell on this little slip-up. He started doing what he did best—terrorising his markers with his "macam tipu" skills—and eventually made amends by sending one home 15 minutes later. And just two minutes before full time was over, his fellow “Terrible Twin” sealed their victory with the final goal of the match.

Soooo... next up: Arsenal vs Villareal. And Barça vs Milan.

BARCELONA vs AC MILAN! It’ll be tough, as I’m sure AC Milan is all fired up to not carelessly let the title slip so easily through their fingers a la last season. But, hey, you can bet your ass that Barça ain't gonna go down without a tough fight, either.

People, we're in for some pretty explosive stuff here!

Anywho, my dream Champions League’06 Finals = Barça vs Arsenal. Of course, I’d want my boys Eto’o, Ronaldinho, Gio and Valdes to lift the cup. Heck, for such a great team, Barça’s record at Europe has been less than satisfactory—they’ve only emerged champs just once, way back in 1992.

But then again, Arsenal has never even gone beyond CL quarter-finals before this. So the sentimental part of me wouldn’t mind them being the successful side of 2006.

Wouldn’t mind that much, that is. After all, I am a Red Devil, you know!

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

wise words

“Respect your rivals,
try to be as honest as possible
& enjoy as much as you can.”
-- Ronaldinho (World Footballer of 2004 & 2005)
on what constitutes ‘Joga Bonito’

See how truly legendary Ronaldinho is in the "Joy" Joga Bonito ad

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

2 bitters & a sweet thang

Whoa. Can't believe it's April already. What did the last month bring?

Well, March was a bittersweet journey for me. Actually, more bitter than it was sweet.

First bitter issue in the month of March: work. The bosses are hiking up the stress levels, pressuring each and every member of my team to come up with award-winning creatives. The shittier part is, we have two bosses to go through—Ms Creative Director, and her big boss, Mr Executive Creative Director. And these two are as similar as night is to day, i.e. the former’s idea of a kick-ass idea is the latter’s yawn-inducer. And we gotta please both of them. Near-impossible task, people. Tension tension tension.

On top of that, I am still on contract. It’ll be two years come June. Meaning, I haven’t had any annual leave for almost 24 months. Meaning, whenever I go MIA, it’s on unpaid leave. Meaning, not only do I have to pay for my own medical bills, but when I’m on MC, I get zilch. Meaning, I think I’m shortchanged here.

Their excuse? Headcount issues. My take? My ass! I’m the only writer on my team, they obviously need me, and they can still hide behind this lame-ass justification? Puh-lease. Friggin cheapskates.

Anyways, on to my second bitter highlight en el mes de marzo. My true passion, futsal. My team have been working our butts off for this one particular annual ladies-only tournament, sponsored by popular TV show 3R. This year, the 3R tournament entered its third edition. You’d think that it could only be better than last year’s right? WRONG. To cut a super-long story short, the organisers of this year’s don’t give two shits about how far the local ladies futsal has come. We paid them for a futsal tournament, they gave us a triathlon instead.

The preliminaries were held at the usual futsal venue in Sunway. Prior to that, a manager’s meeting was held. Typically, this is an avenue for discussion between team managers/captains and the organisers. This time, however, it was more a one-way street—the organisers announced the way they wanted the tournament to run, and no worries nor suggestions were entertained.

Tournament day came, prelims played. Representatives from the last ten remaining teams (out of 60) stayed for the manager’s meeting. Again, it was a one-way communication. What’s worse, the organisers couldn’t even agree on a format, and were screaming at each other like little brats.

Worst still, the organisers announced that the ten finalists would not be playing futsal per se at the (so-called) Grand Finals, scheduled for two weeks after. Why? Because the organisers wanted to “showcase” ladies futsal to the public by having the Grand Finals at Berjaya Times Square. INSIDE Berjaya Times Square.

Meaning, the court size was a joke. Worst still, the rules were an even bigger joke. It was a mish-mash of sports… Borrowing the words of the Fly FM promo, “Made from 80% street soccer, three cubes of futsal, a little hockey, and voila!”

I kid you not. In the supposed interest of “protecting” the players, we futsallers were forced to play a game which we aren't familiar with. Kick-off the futsal way. The rest of the rules, follow street soccer, i.e. no entering the D, keepers can’t defend outside her D, keepers can’t throw in, oh, and kick-ins within close proximity only, a la like hockey. WTF?

On top of that, the intelligent organisers refused to pay extra to put upper netting. Meaning, they couldn’t give two cahoots about safety. I mean, come on, this is a game of ball. It don’t take no fortune teller to foresee that without upper netting, the ball might just bloody well go up so high, it’ll break something. Or worst still, some poor child’s head. But nooo, the organisers are too dense to think of such things. Anyways, halfway through our Grand Final games, organisers called for a short meeting with team managers.

“You guys have to keep the ball low. Please control your shots. Berjaya have warned us that if the ball goes over once more, they might just put a halt to today’s event. Please help us out, yeah, or else if anything breaks, we organisers gotta pay for it.”

The nerve! When we demanded “why didn’t you put upper netting?!” they just did what they do best—ignore.

Now you tell me. How are we supposed to play our usual game of futsal—the thing we’ve been working at for the past three-or-so years—with such restrictions?

And the golden question: how do they expect people to take our beloved local ladies futsal seriously when they witness such idiocy (i.e. a banner that says “Grand Finals of Ladies Futsal” but see us ladies playing, in the words of the ref, “like a bunch of piranhas attacking the ball”)? Very, very upsetting this.

Thanks gosh for my sweet thang au mois de marche. Can’t really get too much into this just yet, but let’s just say this wildcat has finally found a home that she's comfortable in. Purr ;)