reach semis, get sex

If Ukraine's players want any, um, quality time with their wives and girlfriends during the World Cup, they better play awfully well.

According to a report in the Russian daily Sport-Express, Ukraine will have to reach the semifinals before its coach will sign off on any extracurricular activities.

When asked if he would allow his players to have sex with their wives and girlfriends during the month-long tournament, Ukraine coach Oleg Blokhin replied, "I would personally send my players to see their wives if we reach the semis."

Apparently whether they want to or not.

"Those who don't feel like it, I'll just drag to their wives," Blokhin added. "Take my word for it." -- FOXSports.com

That's motivation for you!

and the hits just keep on coming

Yikes, looks like the plot thickens for Rooney. It’s been revealed that he might have a hidden hairline crack at the tip of his fractured metatarsal bone that couldn’t be detected via X-ray earlier—one that doctors say is “an injury that takes longer to heal”—and this could confirm his summer heartache.

Sven, however, remains positive, saying he’s got a “feeling” that Wayne will still play even though medical reports strongly suggest otherwise. In any case, the Swede has requested for an additional scan to be done earlier, so England fans would probably get to know what the deal is on June 7.

You see, FIFA’s deadline for registering players is June 9, and if the result of the planned scan on June 14 proves negative, then Sven would have to go to Germany with only three forwards in Michael Owen, Peter Crouch and young Theo Walcott. Not on at all, is it?

Anyways, if the scan on June 7 confirms Rooney’s no-go, then at least the England manager can go with Plan B—promoting Jermaine Defoe from his sub status.

Not to sound like a sour grape or anything, but even if Rooney’s foot heals according to schedule and he makes it for the 2nd round, there’s no guarantee that his fitness would be on track for a tournament as taxing as the World Cup.

Crappy, innit.

latest from england: rooney on course for germany

Striker could even play in group stage

Wayne Rooney could play some part in England's last World Cup group match after scan results today suggested the striker could resume full training on June 14. A second scan will be conducted on that date to determine whether to give a definite go-ahead.

While the striker will miss the opener against Paraguay on June 10 and is unlikely to feature against Trinidad and Tobago on June 15, he could be available for selection for England final group game, against Sweden on June 20.

Woohoo!

Read the full article.

footie bit

England lost 1-2 to a 10-man Belarus team last nite. Tsk tsk.

On the bright side, controversial unknown striker Theo Walcott performed brilliantly, consequently instilling a little bit of assurance to English camps disheartened firstly by Rooney’s untimely injury and then Sven’s shocking choice of frontmen.

Fans would be even more delighted to see that Spur’s winger Aaron Lennon, another uncapped player selected by Sven, was an even brighter star. And with Michael Owen showing undiminished strength, vigour and skills despite having to warm benches since his metatarsal broke last December, England’s World Cup dreams are still not over.

Other than that, I can’t believe how many great players might not be able to perform to their greatest abilities (or, worst still, at all) next month due to injuries. The latest to join this unfortunate list is AC Milan/Ukraine forward, Andriy Schevchenko. Sucky…

Well, whatever it is, I sure as hell am looking forward to this whole weekend that’s packed with international friendlies! For the benefit of you ballheads who’re interested:

Tomorrow @ 10.55pm Germany vs Luxembourg (live)
Sunday @ 1.55am Denmark vs Paraguay (live)
Sunday @ 4am Switzerland vs Ivory Coast (delayed)
Monday @ 1am Croatia vs Iran (delayed)

All matches are to be aired on Astro Supersport.

pay-to-pee loos in school?

NST reported today that SRK Infant Jesus Convent in Johor Bahru is charging their primary-school students a fee of 10 sen to use the loo.

Their excuse? To recover the RM60K spent by the PTA presumably on upgrading the quality of the little kids’ rooms. Also, some of the teachers said that this move was needed in order to discourage the kids from hanging out in the new toilets. Apparently, “many students are excusing themselves from classes to go to the toilet. This is disrupting lessons.” During recess, however, admittance is free.

I think it’s ridiculous to make these little kids pay, especially if they’re like my brother and need to relieve himself ever-so-often. Hey, can’t blame him and others alike for having healthy bladders! Think about it. 10 sen is quite a lot of money especially if your whole-day’s allowance is just 50 sen.

And don’t even think of telling them to hold it in (which is what many of the students are reportedly doing) because hello, have you ever heard of batu karang?One parent revealed that some of these children were reluctant to drink a lot for fear of having to “go” at school.

How anyone—teachers, especially—can be so cruel to the little ones is beyond me, really.

Look, all they gotta do is be like my teachers way back when: have stringent rules about going to the toilet during teaching hours.

* No one could go without a pass, and each class only has 2/3 passes.
* Each pass only entitles you to be out of class for a maximum of 10 minutes, after which the teacher/prefects will go looking for you.
* Since we had more than one toilet, they were segregated, i.e. Toilet A is strictly for Standards 1 & 2, Toilet B for Standards 3 & 4, Toilet C for Standards 5 & 6.
* If any of the above rules weren’t adhered to, the guilty student will be punished, i.e. perform litter duties for a week.

As for getting back monies spent, heck, the PTA should just be more pro-active throughout the year(s) and organise various stuff that will bring about cash inflow like School Food Day.

At the same time, they can just be honest with the parents and write a letter out to them with the title “RE: Donations For The Betterment Of The School.” Yes, it will take a long time, but hey, so will collecting 10 sen from each kid!

if tomorrow never comes

I totally adore this song. Think it's one of the most beautiful ever written. And corny as it seems, I believe everyone should live by its words. Because there is no worse feeling in the world than remorse, trust you me. So sing one, sing all, to the words "I Love You," to those who matter to us the most, today.

BTW, it's sung beautifully by Ronan Keating, even more so by Garth Brooks... and the best yet, of course, by my Elliot Yamin ;)

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark

And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way
To show her every day
That she's my only one

If my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed

So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance
To tell her how I feel

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way
To show her every day
That she's my only one

If my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

woot woot!

Taylor Hicks aka The Dude With The White Hair aka Soul Patrol, has been crowned the new American Idol. Gotta say, I’m quite pleased that he beat Ms Katharine McPhee for the title.

Yay to pure, quirky talent. Nay to stereotypical Miss America types.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against the McPheever. In fact, she was the only girl that I fancied this season. (Okay, that’s a lie. I kinda also liked the young blacks chicas. No one can deny that they’ve got the voices, but hey, boring already lah their style!).

But my problem with Katharine is that she’s too pretty, too perfect to win. Yes, she’s the one with the “package,” but she’s too yawn-inducingly typical, yo.

But anywho, I’m elated that my favourite three were the final three. Just slightly disappointed that MY American Idol got booted last week. Yes, ladies and gents, Elliot Yamin was the one who did it the most for me.

Elliot's voice (oh that big, soulful voice—even more so than the Soul Patrol himself!) is nothing less than pure gold. Every time I hear him sing, I go tingly all over as my chest fills up with emotions. And when he serenades those jiwang numbers, my eyes would actually well up and I just melt away. I kid you not. That’s just about how powerful my darling Elliot is. As Paula said it to this funky white boy: "You pierce through the heart."

All this, and Elliot’s 90 percent deaf in his right ear. If you don’t call him amazing, I don’t know what is.

Wish Mr Yamin was the victor. Because, while Taylor entertains me, Elliot inspires me. Isn't that what an idol is supposed to do?

But oh well, as I’ve said before, with him out, Taylor’s definitely the next-best.

To me, anyways :)

12 days

Yup, s'been that long since I last blogged. Do I have withdrawal symptoms? Nope. But I do feel somewhat disappointed in meself for not having done better.

Of course, no one can blame me, since work’s been totally crazy. Pressure pressure pressure. Awards awards awards. Is this what I’m expected to want to live, breathe and die for? Pathetic at best.

Yes, been moaning and whining about my current profession for yonks now, this I realise. But hey, I can hardly be held culpable for lack of trying to look for another one. Times are friggin hard, it’s next to impossible to get an interview for a decent job. Sure, I could sell meself short and just go for whatever that’s on the buffet line. But hey, quality does matter for future fulfilment.

Anyways, after a cruel month-long abstinence from futsal, I finally got some breathing space to go for training with my team mates. Man, that felt good. Kicking balls once more with my lovely Catz… sheer bliss.

Speaking of balls, it’s a mere 18 days to the world’s most anticipated Cup. SO EXCITE! All those sleepless nights and zombie-like days that await me—wouldn’t change it for the world! Well, perhaps for diamonds la, ha ;Þ

Which brings me to my latest fixation: ice. Yes, I’m ashamed to admit that I have succumbed to this epidemic that most ladies the world over are suffering from. But don’t worry, I’m still grounded. Am not expecting to be covered from head-to-toe with them (donch worry, bebé!). It’s just that I’ve been sorta forced to study the 4C’s and how to judge a good diamond, and gotta tell you, it’s bloody addictive! And not to mention, ridiculously expensive! How anyone can walk around with a rock that’s any greater than 0.7 carat with peace of mind in this crazy city is beyond me, really.

And you know what else is difficult for me to comprehend? The grand distance between meself and my dearest sister and her baby boy. Painful as it was, I had to say goodbye to two of the most precious people in my life as they seek for a new life on the other side of the globe where my brother-in-law is from. No more hanging out with the calming (though overly skinny! ;Þ) figure of hers, nor hearing the excited cries of “bapoo!” (that’s Razyn-talk for “lampu”). Oh how I miss you two so :(

Anywho. Loads more updates are due, yes, but it’s rare that I get to leave this godforsaken office when the sun is still up, no... so ta!

04:56

Boss says it doesn't make sense that we're all still here, awake.

Go home, says he.

AYE!

03:52

Dizzy.

plan b

It's 02:01. I'm still in the office. And far away yet from getting the hell outta here.

At this time yesterday, I was staring at this same computer screen.

And on Sunday, was I spending quality time with my sister and her baby who will be migrating to Canada at the end of the week?

That's a resounding NO. I was here. Even a week before. Yup, on Labour Day weekend (makin' it the second year in a row). In this wretched place. Slaving away in the name of making money

... for the company, sheesh.

I need a new plan.

bumpy english terrains

Latest news: Spurs is demanding for a replay vs West Ham after losing to the latter 1-2 last weekend. It’s a big deal because the loss also caused them a fourth-place finishing in the EPL, simultaneously perishing their hopes of playing at Europe next season.

Ten players from the Tottenham squad suffered from food poisoning on the eve of Spurs's last league game of the season. They'd requested for the match to be postponed by 24 hours so that their players could recover, but the Premier League people didn't have much of a heart by offering only a two-hour delay to kick-off.

'In being given no viable option to postpone the match other than a two-hour delay to kick-off, our players were denied the possible opportunity of competing in the Champions League, while our fans have been left with a sense of suspicion and injustice at the way subsequent events unfolded,' Spurs chairman Daniel Levy said in a letter to Premier League chairman Dave Richards.

'Clearly, our governing body put us in an impossible situation and gave a significant advantage to Arsenal in competing for that fourth position.'

Levy said his club had the backing of other Premier League (FAPL) clubs in requesting a replay.

And we thought all the action+drama in EPL'06 have ended!

~*~

My heart goes out to Darren Bent for his exclusion from England’s World Cup 2006 contingent. It’s mind-boggling how Sven can not choose Charlton Athletic’s Darren Bent, being that he’s the top English striker in the EPL!

Instead, we’ll be seeing young unknown Theo Walcott, in action. The Arsenal player who’s never even played for his club’s senior squad. And he’s got a plane ticket booked for Germany? Get out of town! (ha)

For England's sake, I'm praying for Rooney's super-speedy recovery.

so it's over

United’s secured at second, with just one measly but grand point above the other red force, Liverpool. Meaning, we’ve just scraped past having to play the qualifier’s at Europe next season. Unless, of course, Arsenal win in Paris...

That’s another thing. Arsenal, though making history for themselves continentally, have had a nightmarish season at home. They only have the Almighty, as well as the mighty Thierry Henry, to thank for snatching fourth place from under the noses of an ill-fated Spurs side.

Though I ain’t no fan of the latter’s (nor the former’s, for that matter, HaH!), my heart goes out to Martin Jol’s boys who’ve been working hard at making the Gunners work even harder at earning a spot in next season’s Champions League… and were that close at ousting their North London rivals. Ouch.

And if it is to be that Rijkaard’s squad would end up lifting the cup on 15 May (fingers crossed), we know that the men in white would only be kicking themselves for the defeat to West Ham.

Well, whoever reigns as Kings of Europe, I suspect it will not make a difference to one French “king” in particular. Am sure many devout Gunners would shoot me down for saying this, but I’m gonna anyways: Thierry Henry will be bidding au revoir to Arsenal and saying ¡hola! to Barça. Drooool.

Come on, do you really think the striker’s gonna miss up on the golden opportunity to play alongside Ronaldinho and Eto’o? Hello!

Speaking of which, looks like it's a definite bye-bye for a certain Dutch forward for his Ruud walkaway. Tsk tsk.

world news

Apparently, the guy who gave a whole meaning to the word "world" has done the expected.

Current Malay sensation, Mawi, has broken off his engagement to hometown sweetheart, Nordiana.

Shocking, innit. I mean, who would've ever guessed that all the riches and glam would change someone? That's totally unheard of..!

since we're on everything brazillian today...

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.

He concludes by saying, "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"Oh no," the President exclaims, "That's terrible! That's horrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands, visibly shaken.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

Hahah!

did you know >> brazil

* is the largest and most populous country in South America, and fifth largest in the world.

* It spans over a vast area between central South America and the Atlantic Ocean, and borders Uruguay, Argentina, Paraguay, Bolivia, Peru, Colombia, Venezuela, Guyana, Suriname and the French department of French Guiana—basically, it neighbours every South American country save Chile and Ecuador.

* Its name came about from "brazilwood" (pau-brasil), a tree that was highly valued by early colonists.

* Since it was colonised by Portugal, Brazil’s official language is Portuguese. Spanish, however, is common at places where Brazil borders Spanish-speaking countries (heck, the whole of South America except Brazil has got Spanish as their mother tongue).

* There is such a thing as a mixture of Spanish and Portuguese, known as Portunhol/Portuñol.

* Football is the most popular sport. Other than the traditional gameplay, three other variations of the sport are widely practiced by Brazilians:

(1) futsal (the 5-a-side version),
(2) beach football (which originated in the beaches of Rio de Janeiro), and
(3) footvolley (a cross between football and volleyball that’s played on sand, where players can only use their head and feet to get the ball over the net onto the opponent's court)

-- source: wikipedia.com

brazillians on speed

I was at the Nokia Defend Your Turf Grand Finals last Saturday.

A little background: For 6 weekends since late March, local futsal teams from all over Pen Malaysia battled it out to earn the right to defend our turf against the famed Boys From Brazil.

I must say that the level of futsal displayed by the 6 regional champs is nothing short of brag-worthy. And the thing that impressed me the most is that not only the boys from Selangor and KL showed the concept of “rotation” into their gameplay, but also those from Terengganu, Kedah, Penang, and Johor—albeit not too apparently.

At the end of the day, Mahsuri FT from down south were crowned national champions. This, of course, meant that they clinched the chance that every other team have been dreaming of—testing their skills and mettle versus the best ballers from the streets of Rio.

Of course, the super-speedy Boys are in a totally different league (to say that they were breathtaking is a seriously insulting understatement). And of course, our home side lost. Gloriously at that (12-0 to be exact).

But, heck, that wasn’t reason enough for the bad showing from the home crowd. They were cheering the Brazillians on (this, for a team who has beaten Asia's reigning champions Iran, for crying out loud!) but jeering the local boys.

Shameful. Tsk tsk tsk.

wise words

I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.
-- Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park, Death, 1997