Tuesday, February 28, 2006

the damned quarter pounder

Damn, damn. Double damn.

I feel so darn pudgy right now, thanks to my lack of wisdom in choosing food for lunch. Yup, yours sincerely disgustingly stuffed her face with a Quarter Pounder, as well as medium fries and Vanilla Coke. What the hell was I thinking?

But I can hardly be held culpable for this idiocy. For serious, it ain't my fault, people. How does one stay strong when as soon as one walks through the Golden Arches, one gets seduced without warning?

Now come on, you can't possibly tell me that you won't falter after seeing the juiciness of that.

And you know what else seriously doesn't help? The scrumptiously salty scent of fresh French fries... It's tough, oi!

But just like with everything else in life, you gotta know your limits. A large meal?

Calories in Quarter Pounder

A quarter pounder with cheese, large fries & large shake contain about 1300 calories. To burn off the calories, take a brisk 5 hour walk.

Five blinking hours of walking? Am so patting my back for settling with just a medium meal.

But still.

I'm definitely going for kickboxing today, man.

Curse you, McDonald's. Curse you to bankruptcy.


Perhaps I shoulda just had this...

After which I'll be surfing high on my very own...


If these bad-ass big boys from Pulp Fiction couldn't resist the evil seductions of the Quarter Pounder and its other sinful fast-food friends, how could I?

Vincent Vega: You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?

Jules: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?

Vincent: No, they got the metric system there, they wouldn't know what the f**k a Quarter Pounder is.

Jules: What'd they call it?

Vincent: Royale with Cheese.

Jules: Royale with Cheese... What'd they call a Big Mac?

Vincent: Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it Le Big Mac.

Jules: What do they call a Whopper?

Vincent: I dunno, I didn't go into a Burger King.

Even weapon-bearing citizens in cartoonland have fallen prey to this evil of our world:

Lou: Well, at McDonald's you can buy a Krusty Burger with cheese, right? But they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese.

Wiggum: Get out! Well, what do they call it?

Lou: A Quarter Pounder with cheese.

Wiggum: Quarter Pounder with cheese? Well, I can picture the cheese, but, uh, do they have Krusty partially gelatinated non-dairy gum-based beverages?

Lou: Mm-hm. They call 'em, "shakes."

Eddie: Huh, shakes? You don't know what you're gettin'!

Hallelujah. I ain't alone in this predicament, no seree.

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