the haze is going, the drought is gone

Wayne Rooney gifted himself with the sweetest 21st birthday pressie by ending his goal drought in superb style. Contributing to Man United's first, second and final goal in tonight's 4-0 thrashing of Bolton, Rooney crushed the "fortress" of the Reebok and reminded his fans of that sweet victory in Europe when he made his first-ever appearance in a Red Devils shirt a memorable one by scoring a hat-trick.

Anyways. As they say, after a drought, it will usually flood. Hear hear! Oh, how good it feels to be on top ;)

mr big

Does anyone remember them? Their hits included tunes like "To Be With You," "Green Tinted Sixties Mind" and my all-time favourite...

"Just Take My Heart"

It's late at night and neither one of us is sleeping

I can't imagine living my life after you're gone

Wondering why so many questions have no answers

I keep on searching for the reason why we went wrong

Where is our yesterday

You and I could use it right now

But if this is goodbye

Just take my heart when you go

I don't have the need for it anymore

I'll always love you, but you're too hard to hold

Just take my heart when you go

Here we are about to take the final step now

I just can't fool myself, I know there's no turning back

Face to face it's been an endless conversation

But when the love is gone you're left with nothing but talk

I'd give my everything

If only I could turn you around

But if this is goodbye

Just take my heart when you go

I don't have the need for it anymore

I'll always love you but you're too hard to hold

Just take my heart when you go

pride | stupidity

I think it’s high time I break the three-month silence, and what better reason than to bitch about the idiocy of McClaren’s England.

Last Saturday, I witnessed as the world’s top individual football greats tremble against Macedonia. Three of the globe’s best midfielders were struggling for their right to shine in their area of expertise, and as the world knows, three’s company—Carrick was found wanting, Gerrard reduced to less-than-ordinary, and Lampard… well, I’ve never thought much of the no-skills-can-only-capitalise-from-a-deflection player, anyways.

Next up: a trip to Croatia. They with a vicious team who (1) have never lost on home soil, (2) have fans who will cheer them on and jeer their foes to the end, and most importantly, (3) were psyched up after seeing England struggle with Macedonia.

Of course, England failed. So easily, at that. Shapeless and in a shambles. I laughed my heart out while the so-called “world’s greats” fumbled and stumbled.

I could almost see the headlines of tomorrow. “Bring Becks Back!” it will shout. By those who wanted him out in the first place, no less. I mean, for serious, putting aside my undying love for the former captain, no one can deny that with Beckham back in the team, a whole world of difference it would make.

Why McClaren has omitted the ex-skipper is beyond me, really. There’s no great reason nor benefit for leaving him off the list. Heck, other than Lennon, Becks was the only one who performed at Germany’06, for crying out loud! Oh, wait. Here’s one: Stevie is an egotistical fool who refuse to have any association whatsoever with his predecessor’s favourite so he won't be caught dead following the latter's footsteps.

Fool, I still say, because as bad as Sven was, it took him a healthy four YEARS before his first defeat. As opposed to Stevie’s lame five MATCHES.

With that, allow me to throw this to you: if McClaren wasn’t English, and he’s displayed on a shelf side-by-side with Eriksson, would the powers that be even look at the former?

he says, he says

Embracing this year’s World Cup as a fan of Argentina’s, England’s and Australia's, I was impartial as to which Blue force should lift the coveted trophy.

Okay, okay, being the sentimental fool that I am, I must admit that my preference was slightly heavier on Les Bleus seeing that it was Zinedine Zidane’s very last competitive match.

In any case, what it was that I truly hoped for was a grand finals clash that would leave a sweet, unforgettable aftertaste lasting for the next four years.

Unforgettable I got, yes, but so far from sweet. Zizou, pedigree and all, had his farewell match rudely truncated when he was red carded off the pitch at Extra Time. Zizou, extremely experienced and all, turned around and gloriously head-butted in the chest—much like a raging bull—the Azzurri’s Materazzi after some words were exchanged at high temperatures.

As soon as I saw that, I turned to my ever-so-loyal WC06 buddy that is my father, and said, “Being Italian, I am so sure that he must’ve said something very crude about either Zidane’s mother, or wife, or God.”

Today, my suspicions became facts. After days of staying silent, the (ex) French skipper has finally spoken.

'If I reacted that way, it is because something bad happened. Do you really believe that 10 minutes before the end of my career I would be able to make such a bad gesture? The provocation was very serious.'

'There was no tension with Materazzi before or during the match,' Zidane said.

'He just put his hand on to my shirt and I told him to stop. I told him that if he wanted it I could give it to him at the end of the match.

'Then he said very harsh words to me and repeated them several times. I left but then I went back towards him and things went very fast.

'The words he said concerned my mother and sister. I heard them once, then twice, and the third time I couldn't control myself. I am a man and some words are harder to hear than actions.

'I would have rather been knocked down than hear that.

'Afterwards I explained to the referee that I had been provoked, but my behaviour is not forgivable,' Zidane said.

The 1998 World Cup winner, who could even be stripped of his Golden Ball award as the player of the 2006 tournament, said: 'The reaction is always punished but if there is no provocation there is no reaction. The guilty person is the one who provokes.

During an interview with French television station Canal Plus, in which Zidane gave his first public comments on the incident, Zidane publicly apologised for being sent off but insisted he did not regret his actions.

'I reacted badly and I would like to apologise for it,' Zidane said.

'I would like to apologise because a lot of children were watching the match. I do apologise but I don't regret my behaviour because regretting it would mean he was right to say what he said.'

Materazzi, of course, denies saying anything of the sort.

'I didn't mention anything about religion, politics or racism,' he said. (earlier reports speculated that the Italian defender called Zidane "a dirty terrorist.")

'I didn't insult his mother. I lost my mother when I was 15 years old and still get emotional when I talk about it.

'Naturally, I didn't know that his mother was in hospital but I wish her all the best.
'Zidane is my hero and I have always admired him a lot.'

If whatever you're claiming is true, Signor, then fine. But if you are guilty of any of the above, then vafangkulo (however you spell it) to you!

Whatever the case, I hope FIFA takes this very, very seriously.

almost over

Four weeks ago, I would laugh in your face if you said to me that the last four would be Germany, Portugal, France and Italy. Okay, okay, Germany wasn't such a shocker since host nations usually get the luck (by "luck" I also mean much help from the refs) to reach the semis, but Portugal, France and Italy?

Portugal isn't exactly the top five amongst the world's best footballers. France's display was close to pathetic in the opening matches. As for Italy, not only did they gift an own goal to the United States, they needed to fake a fall to win over Australia for crying out loud!

Having said that, they got their act together, started to get serious and taught a young Germany side a lesson they will never forget: that not only confidence but experience will get you through. And most importantly, the Azzurri did it in style.

As for the French, the start of their World Cup'06 campaign looked like they weren't thirsty enough to end their years of goal draught. Each and every match after, however, sucked less and less, and slowly but surely they pushed themselves to the quarters. But not even five-time and defending champs Brazil could stop them. And in the semis, Les Bleus persevered and stopped history from repeating itself when they overcame a vicious Portuguese side.

As much as I hate to admit it, as with many of Chelsea's succesful games, Claude Makalele played a vital part in keeping France's World Cup'06 hopes alive. And especially Zinedine Zidane, who's nothing short of inspiring. Despite the poor start to his final competitive season, the soon-to-be footballing legend rose to the occasion just in time to lead his compatriots to the finals.

I don't know about you, but I'd say our hearts are in for a great workout tonight when the two Big Blues clash.

May the best team win.

is this for real?

If indeed it is, then shame on the scientists! But nah, it looks more like the experimental procedures only happened in Photoshop, innit...

all hope is lost

I was reduced to tears, for serious.

Argentina--my Argentina--was robbed of all civillised decisions at their quarter-final clash with 2006 hosts, Germany. With all due respect to the latter, whose team has improved tremendously since four years ago, the Slovakian ref made it oh-too-easy for them to clinch the win.

Of course, Argentinean coach Jose Pekerman must also be held partially culpable for the loss. Removing two creative and influential attacking players in Riquelme and Crespo and substituting them for the defensive strenghts of Cruz and Cambiasso was nothing short of stupid, really. I mean, fine, Cambiasso is known for his goal-scoring capabilities, but only sporadically at best. And Julio Cruz? So what if Argentina was leading? Everyone in the world knows that a one-goal cushion doesn't spell comfort these days. And it's not like you're cursed with England's problems--you've still got terrorising weapons in Messi and Saviola, for crying out loud!

Anyways, I digress. What I really wanted to rant about was the ref. Could he have made it even more obvious that he was biased to the hosts? I'm not saying that the Germans didn't deserve to win, but I am saying that Argentina deserved more justice.

In my frustration, my father (who was on neutral ground) shed some light on me. "Do you think the fact that non-Europeans can never do well when the WC is held in Europe is sheer coincidence? The referees have been doing this for decades, my dear."

Take a moment and think about it. It's sick, yes, but it's the truth. Sigh.

That game was the last straw, and now I'm completely disenchanted with the WC2006. I didn't even feel anything when I saw England perish to Portugal, especially upon finding out that the ref appointed for that match was Argentinean. A commandable choice, indeed, given the long hate-hate history behind England and Argentina in the World Cup.

Someone call me when true fair play is back, please?

last 16

... and now my rantings on the second round of the WC.

Germany deserved every bit of their 2-0 victory over Sweden. They're taking their promise to the world that they're now a force to be reckoned very, very seriously, and are a treat to watch.

Argentina and Mexico nearly gave me a major heart arrest with their psychotic performance. While I truly respect Mexico for their obvious improvements since that shameful game against Italy the last time (you know, the got-the-lucky-goal-so-let's-just-play-it-safe-for-the-rest-of-the-match-by-passing-the-ball-amongst-ourselves-in-our-half, sheesh!), I am even more elated that my favourite team has gone through.

England put me to sleep yet again with their oh-so-bosan display against Ecuador, but gotta admit that my hubby's free kick was a pure beauty.

Portugal and Netherlands, well what can I say? 16 yellow cards+4 red cards (tourney record so far, me reckons)=overflow of drama! Not gonna take any sides 'cause both were equally dirty.

Now, I've said this before and am gonna shout it again: THE REFS AT THIS TOURNEY SUCK! And no other game so far exemplifies this than the Italy-Australia clash. The red that caused Italy to have only 10 men was uncalled for. But more blatantly unjust was the 93rd-minute penalty awarded to the Azzurri, when it was clear that Fabio Grosso's tumble over Lucas Neill was no fault of the Aussie defender. I'm not saying that Australia deserved to win that match more than the Italians. I mean, so what if the former were more resilient, right? What I am saying is that the Socceroos definitely didn't deserve to lose in such a shocking manner. Boo.

Can't comment much on Switzerland vs Ukraine, because I didn't even bother watching this one. Which is mightaswell, since reviews said that it was a blah affair.

Happy to see that Brazil is getting their act together, upping their football levels a notch since their lacklustre 1st-round showing, but it was sad to see Ghana perish so easily after they impressively demolished the Czech Republic. Even sadder was them being so persistent with the (so-called) offside traps. Hello? Your opponents are only the five-time world champs. Of course they're not gonna fall for your lame tricks!

And finally, it's disappointing to see Spain add another chapter to their long history of underachieving as a national team. With that much talent, it's almost pathetic, really. All said and done regarding the French, I'm glad to see them coming on form only for sentimental reasons--it is Zidane's final competitive tournament, after all.

Tomorrow is Germany-Argentina. I sure hope and pray that the referees will not live up to their bad reputation of biasness. Come on-lah, ref, it really isn't that hard. You just gotta let the football do the talking.

totally super

The 6-0 goalfest for Argentina/thrashing of Serbia & Montenegro was especially twinkling in my list—as well as Diego Maradona’s, who couldn’t contain his euphoria—of wonders, being that I am part Argentine (for serious). Each of the goals from Esteban Cambiasso (31st minute), Hernán Crespo(78'), Carlos Tevez (84'), Lionel Messi (88') as well as the double from Maxi Rodríguez (6’ & 41’) spelt sheer skill, talent and tactical greatness. Of course, the competitor part of me couldn’t help feeling deeply sorry for the Serbs for their humiliating defeat. How could I not, since we’re talking about a team which, in their whole World Cup 2006 campaign, only conceded ONE goal. Tsk tsk.

Of course, there was the shocking 2-0 demolition of the #2 FIFA ranked Czech Republic courtesy of Ghana. Ghana! The unlikely debutants whopping the asses of one of the biggest footballing forces of the world, simultaneously recording an impressive first win for an African nation at Germany’06. Great stuff.

Then there’s the amazing sweeping header by Alberto Gilardino, which gave Italy a short-lived lead over a determined-to-overcome-their-pathetic-0-3-start USA side. Before long, the Americans managed to level but not without the help of opposing defender, Cristian Zaccardo. And within 60 seconds of that bizarre own goal, the Azzurri found themselves one man short when Daniele De Rossi viciously tore open Brian McBride’s face with his elbow. USA followed suit—twice within a period of two minutes—and so it was 10 men in blue vs 9 men in white. Not to forget the controversial disallowed goal that almost gave the USA the three points they so desperately wanted. Phew! Such a huge dose of drama in just one football game, innit.

Brazil disappointed yet again with a mediocre performance. They were made to work very, very hard by Australia, who continued their brilliant display. To be fair to the Samba Kings, Mark Schwarzer was tested many a time, plus fantastic shots that were denied by the Australian woodwork. Having said that, however, the Socceroos also made sure to give Dida and his defenders major scares. In the end, experience prevailed over perseverance, and it was the yellow sea of Brazil that were celebrating the 2-0 result.

As for France, well, Thierry Henry gifted his sorry-looking team with a superb 8th-minute finishing, ending a long World Cup goal drought since Emmanuel Petit’s successful strike at France’98. Disappointingly, Les Bleus carelessly allowed Park Ji-Sung’s hard work to convert into a goal, ending the night with a 1-1 draw. Boo France, hooray Red Devils! (Btw for you less learned lot out there, Manchester United and South Korea national football team—both of which Park plays for—are associated with this same nickname. Talk about amazing coincidences, huh.)

What a wonderful weekend it was for footie lovers, indeed.

cannot kongsi raya?

The Ulama Conference 2006 committee chairman said on Tuesday that the gomen should review “kongsi raya” celebs and open houses. Why? Because apparently, this concept is in danger of contradicting Islam and its beliefs.

The Star reported that “the ulama’s ruling followed the National Fatwa Committee’s decision that celebrating the festivals of other religions could erode the faith of Muslims and lead to blasphemy.”

Okay, first and foremost, I’m not even sure that Datuk Seri Harussani Zakaria was correctly quoted, given the biased nature of our press.

But, if whatever the papers have reported is true, then shame on you, Datuk Seri. Because thanks to you and like individuals, Muslims the world over are suffering the nasty consequences. Jeered for supposedly being closed-minded. And, worse still, tortured for supposedly being uncompromising in our ways.

Don’t get me wrong. I truly and utterly respect the rules of our religion. That we should steer clear of things that are syirik, like practicing black magic, believing in horoscopes, and attending Sunday school. These would shake our faith, yes.

But throwing “kongsi raya” activities in a country which prides itself of its muhibbah nation--God forbid!? I truly doubt so.

Having said that, however, I do have reservations about Muslims taking advantage of religious celebrations to party the night away. You want to go clubbing? Fine. You want to drink? It's your prerogative. But please don't lift those alcoholic beverages and say "cheers" to celebrate Hari Raya. Or cite "Bismillah" when you're breaking fast... with beer.

It is these kinds of display that are giving the ulama a cause for worry when it comes to us more liberal Muslims.

Anyways, I slightly digress. The point I was trying to make is that there's nothing blasphemous with "kongsi raya," as long as no religious taboos are committed.

After all, sharing is caring innit.

day 8

England did an Australia. After a lacklustre 84-or-so minutes against a pumped-up Trinidad & Tobago side, Crouchie and Stevie G proved what exactly they're made of dangerously late in the game, when they scored a goal each for their country.

And my star of the night? Darling Beckham, who kept producing those beautiful bending balls that he's so famed for. Eh, I'm not saying this just because he's my hubby (yes, people, Posh is his second wife). But I reckon amongst a sea of bland English footballers last night, their el kapitan was the one who kept it alive for them.

I would also give snaps to Spurs's Aaron Lennon, whose fresh legs gave his team fresh hopes in the second half. And Rooney? Yeah, he played. Yeah, he did give England that sting that was so badly needed. But of course, since he's freshly recovered, he only managed to cause tiny problems to the opposition. In any case, welcome back, Wayne.

And tonight? Looks like I won't be getting any quality shut-eye. Just look lah at the fixtures...

21:00 ARGENTINA vs SERBIA & MONTENEGRO
00:00 NETHERLANDS vs IVORY COAST
03:00 MEXICO vs ANGOLA

Psychotic, innit.

day 6

Spain made me a very happy camper when they blasted four goals to the back of Ukraine’s net last night. Only thing, though, this win was marred by am imbecilic move by the ref, who flashed a red to a truly undeserving Vladislav Vashchuk. Undeserving, I say, because the mild shirt-tugging happened outside the box. Plus, Fernando Torres didn’t even fall down. At most, it was a yellow card, for serious. Bad referee, bad bad bad.

Deeper into the night, I was delighted to be proven wrong. Silly me thought that the Saudi Arabia-Tunisia face-off would just cause yawns. How wrong was I! Both sides showed great skills, grit, and perseverance. Enough to make a 1-0-at-halftime match turn into a pumping 2-all draw at FT. Purely exhilarating stuff!

Anyways, round 2 of the group stage kicked off last night, with Germany pulling a late winner against bitter rivals Poland, who failed to get any goals in. And tonight, England will meet Trinidad & Tobago. Over in Germany, the kick-off will be while the sun is still up, and thus I bid Eriksson’s boys the best of luck as they’re going against a Caribbean side that’s unfazed by extreme heat.

By the way, it seems we might be able to catch Wonderful Wayne in ball-kicking action tonight. Sven has declared the young striker as “match fit” for tonight, defying the his team’s fitness coach’s opinion that it will be another week before Rooney is fully fit.

While I can’t wait to see Man U’s golden boy terrorise on the pitch, I reckon his national team coach is being ultimately careless and selfish about this. I mean, it will take only a slight trip for Rooney to get himself back in a rut (god forbid).

But worse, what if he kena kaw-kaw? It could mean he might never be able to kick a ball again.
And that, ladies and gents, would be a downright dirty shame indeed.

If that were to happen, the people of the world had better find shelter, because few is greater than The Wrath of The Sir…

senyum kangaru

Australia kicked-off their World Cup campaign with a brilliant albeit chilling start last night, winning 3-1 over Asian football bigwigs, Japan.

The Japs, who secured a debatable goal in the 26th minute thanks to Shunsuke Nakamura, had their fans’ cheers and celebrations rudely truncated when they were careless to let one pass in the last 6 minutes of the game.

Obviously shaken and stirred, they allowed a second goal from Everton’s Tim Cahill just five minutes later. And disappointingly, yet another hit the back of the Japanese net courtesy of John Aloisi in the 92nd minute.

Granted, the Aussies seriously deserved their goals—hey, they had at least triple amounts of shots as compared to their opponents—but the Japs played really well. And elated as I am that my underdog Socceroos escaped with kangaroo smiles (OZ! OZ! OZ! Oi! Oi! Oi!), I’m also disappointed that the Japs were defeated in such a manner.

Oh, well. Can’t wait to see both sides facing-off against defending champs Brazil. For those who’re equally as interested, here are the fixtures for those games:

BRAZIL vs AUSTRALIA Monday, June 19 @ 00:00
JAPAN vs BRAZIL Friday, June 23 @ 03:00

wise words

"It’s not always rainbows and butterflies
It’s compromise that moves us along"
-- Maroon 5

36 hours

... away to the first match of this year's World Cup, woohoo!

For the benefit of my gila bola readers, here're the kick-off times for this weekend's fixtures:

Sat, 10 June
00:00 GERMANY vs COSTA RICA
03:00 POLAND vs ECUADOR
21:00 ENGLAND vs PARAGUAY

Sun, 11 June
00:00 TRINIDAD & TOBAGO vs SWEDEN
03:00 ARGENTINA vs IVORY COAST
21:00 SERBIA & MONTENEGRO vs NETHERLANDS

Mon, 12 June
00:00 MEXICO vs IRAN
03:00 ANGOLA vs PORTUGAL

Click here for full listings. Note that all hours reflected in there are in UK time. Add 7 hours to convert to local time.

Oh by the way, it's been reported that Rooney was all smiles after leaving the hospital in Manchester yesterday. Let's keep our fingers crossed that this means we'll be seeing the young lad in action soon enough!

living by your own words

"Guilt is a strong emotion, to those that feel it. It's a potent learning experience and helps you stop repeating otherwise damaging overt anti-social behaviour if continued would definitely lead to ostracism, or worse.

I suppose when you are younger and don't have as deep an understanding of that there are repercussions to your actions that will affect others or yourself, if not now that most definitely later. Guilt is the realisation that such repercussions could have been avoided only if you hadn't screwed about half as much.

Realisation is such a strong word, which I believe many do not exhibit or experience enough in this world. People have a tendency to act and not care, not realise that they could have hurt someone or in fact just did.

This realisation, if taken positively, builds the foundation of supporting experiences necessary to live a happier life removed from avoidable bad experiences, because, well, you learned to avoid them by not doing them in the first place."

You know, you ought to remember your own words and live by them. perhaps then and only then will you stop hurting others with your "unthinking" actions.

Because you know, a heart that has been shattered time and time again, might be left with little strength to ever heal completely...

kau hancurkan hatiku

ku katakan dengan indah
dengan terbuka
hatiku hampa
seperti nya luka
menghampirinya

kau beri rasa yang berbeda
mungkin ku salah
mengartikannya
yang ku rasa cinta

tetapi hatiku selalu meninggikanmu
terlalu meninggikanmu
selalu meninggikanmu

kau hancurkan hatiku, hancurkan lagi
kau hancurkan hatiku 'tuk melihatmu
kau terangi jiwaku, kau redupkan lagi
kau hancurkan hatiku 'tuk melihatmu

membuatku terjatuh dan terjatuh lagi
membuatku merasakan yang tak terjadi
semua yang terbaik dan yang terlewati
semua yang terhenti tanpa ku akhiri

-- peterpan

ada apa denganmu?

sudah, lupakan semua
segala berubah
dan kita terlupa
dan kita terluka

dan aku, sifatku
dan aku, khilafku
dan aku, cintaku
dan aku, rinduku

ku tanya malam dapatkah kau lihatnya
perbedaan yg tak terungkapkan
tapi mengapa kau tak berubah
ada apa denganmu?

hanya malam dapat meleburkan
segala rasa yang tak terungkapkan
tapi mengapa kau tak berubah
ada apa denganmu?

-- peterpan

back in the saddle again

Last Saturday, my all-ladies futsal team were in full tourney action after being inactive for a few months. And by inactive, I don’t just mean zero participations in tournaments. I mean, not even trainings. And, worst of all, for some of us no futsal whatsoever for over a month!

Anyways, gotta say that I had a really great time as we went into it with little expectations of winning (read: no pressure), but ended up earning the fourth spot… so, yay!

The bigger shock was us walking away with medals, big tins of MILO each as well as 500 buckeroos! Not bad for an invitational tourney with zilch registration fees, huh.

(This, just when our funds are running thin… alhamdulillah.)

Anywho, I’d like to say a big, fat muchas gracias to our lovely guest players: Chris (Jujubabez), Wann (Crony FC) & Zue (Just Daisies). It was a dream come true for me to kick balls with you girls, particularly Zue as I’ve always wanted to play alongside your talent.

Speaking of being elated, I was also pleasantly surprised that my team mate with the most powderful shot--but somehow tourney-shy, tsk tsk--finally come out of her shell. Cam ya INDAH GILAK bah main, baby dayak… Iboh lupa: “Agik idup agik ngelaban,” hehe :)

HIDUP BOLA!

brangelina & gwengavin

Last Friday, my favourite funk-ay lay-day Gwen gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. Elated for Mrs Gavin Rossdale!

What I’m not too hot about, however, is his name: Kingston James McGregor Rossdale. I mean, come on. Kingston? So what would be his nickname, King? Ton? Stone?

But Gwen & Gavin ain't got nothin' on the entity widely known as Brangelina. Their baby girl, who also arrived last week, was christened Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. I really don’t know what’s worse there. A first name that sounds like a Namibian house pet, or a surname that’s nothing short of snicker-worthy.

I tell you, these Hollywood peeps are so hungry for so-called “originality,” they overlook blatant stupidity, innit.

Jolie-Pitt! Jolly pitt! Jolly armpits! Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh nyehhh…

¡¡¡hola, hola, hola junio!!!

June's finally here! Meaning, it's just days away till I get to stuff meself silly with shot after shot after shot after shot (pun fully intended) of footie fixes, awh-yeah!!!

reach semis, get sex

If Ukraine's players want any, um, quality time with their wives and girlfriends during the World Cup, they better play awfully well.

According to a report in the Russian daily Sport-Express, Ukraine will have to reach the semifinals before its coach will sign off on any extracurricular activities.

When asked if he would allow his players to have sex with their wives and girlfriends during the month-long tournament, Ukraine coach Oleg Blokhin replied, "I would personally send my players to see their wives if we reach the semis."

Apparently whether they want to or not.

"Those who don't feel like it, I'll just drag to their wives," Blokhin added. "Take my word for it." -- FOXSports.com

That's motivation for you!

and the hits just keep on coming

Yikes, looks like the plot thickens for Rooney. It’s been revealed that he might have a hidden hairline crack at the tip of his fractured metatarsal bone that couldn’t be detected via X-ray earlier—one that doctors say is “an injury that takes longer to heal”—and this could confirm his summer heartache.

Sven, however, remains positive, saying he’s got a “feeling” that Wayne will still play even though medical reports strongly suggest otherwise. In any case, the Swede has requested for an additional scan to be done earlier, so England fans would probably get to know what the deal is on June 7.

You see, FIFA’s deadline for registering players is June 9, and if the result of the planned scan on June 14 proves negative, then Sven would have to go to Germany with only three forwards in Michael Owen, Peter Crouch and young Theo Walcott. Not on at all, is it?

Anyways, if the scan on June 7 confirms Rooney’s no-go, then at least the England manager can go with Plan B—promoting Jermaine Defoe from his sub status.

Not to sound like a sour grape or anything, but even if Rooney’s foot heals according to schedule and he makes it for the 2nd round, there’s no guarantee that his fitness would be on track for a tournament as taxing as the World Cup.

Crappy, innit.

latest from england: rooney on course for germany

Striker could even play in group stage

Wayne Rooney could play some part in England's last World Cup group match after scan results today suggested the striker could resume full training on June 14. A second scan will be conducted on that date to determine whether to give a definite go-ahead.

While the striker will miss the opener against Paraguay on June 10 and is unlikely to feature against Trinidad and Tobago on June 15, he could be available for selection for England final group game, against Sweden on June 20.

Woohoo!

Read the full article.

footie bit

England lost 1-2 to a 10-man Belarus team last nite. Tsk tsk.

On the bright side, controversial unknown striker Theo Walcott performed brilliantly, consequently instilling a little bit of assurance to English camps disheartened firstly by Rooney’s untimely injury and then Sven’s shocking choice of frontmen.

Fans would be even more delighted to see that Spur’s winger Aaron Lennon, another uncapped player selected by Sven, was an even brighter star. And with Michael Owen showing undiminished strength, vigour and skills despite having to warm benches since his metatarsal broke last December, England’s World Cup dreams are still not over.

Other than that, I can’t believe how many great players might not be able to perform to their greatest abilities (or, worst still, at all) next month due to injuries. The latest to join this unfortunate list is AC Milan/Ukraine forward, Andriy Schevchenko. Sucky…

Well, whatever it is, I sure as hell am looking forward to this whole weekend that’s packed with international friendlies! For the benefit of you ballheads who’re interested:

Tomorrow @ 10.55pm Germany vs Luxembourg (live)
Sunday @ 1.55am Denmark vs Paraguay (live)
Sunday @ 4am Switzerland vs Ivory Coast (delayed)
Monday @ 1am Croatia vs Iran (delayed)

All matches are to be aired on Astro Supersport.

pay-to-pee loos in school?

NST reported today that SRK Infant Jesus Convent in Johor Bahru is charging their primary-school students a fee of 10 sen to use the loo.

Their excuse? To recover the RM60K spent by the PTA presumably on upgrading the quality of the little kids’ rooms. Also, some of the teachers said that this move was needed in order to discourage the kids from hanging out in the new toilets. Apparently, “many students are excusing themselves from classes to go to the toilet. This is disrupting lessons.” During recess, however, admittance is free.

I think it’s ridiculous to make these little kids pay, especially if they’re like my brother and need to relieve himself ever-so-often. Hey, can’t blame him and others alike for having healthy bladders! Think about it. 10 sen is quite a lot of money especially if your whole-day’s allowance is just 50 sen.

And don’t even think of telling them to hold it in (which is what many of the students are reportedly doing) because hello, have you ever heard of batu karang?One parent revealed that some of these children were reluctant to drink a lot for fear of having to “go” at school.

How anyone—teachers, especially—can be so cruel to the little ones is beyond me, really.

Look, all they gotta do is be like my teachers way back when: have stringent rules about going to the toilet during teaching hours.

* No one could go without a pass, and each class only has 2/3 passes.
* Each pass only entitles you to be out of class for a maximum of 10 minutes, after which the teacher/prefects will go looking for you.
* Since we had more than one toilet, they were segregated, i.e. Toilet A is strictly for Standards 1 & 2, Toilet B for Standards 3 & 4, Toilet C for Standards 5 & 6.
* If any of the above rules weren’t adhered to, the guilty student will be punished, i.e. perform litter duties for a week.

As for getting back monies spent, heck, the PTA should just be more pro-active throughout the year(s) and organise various stuff that will bring about cash inflow like School Food Day.

At the same time, they can just be honest with the parents and write a letter out to them with the title “RE: Donations For The Betterment Of The School.” Yes, it will take a long time, but hey, so will collecting 10 sen from each kid!

if tomorrow never comes

I totally adore this song. Think it's one of the most beautiful ever written. And corny as it seems, I believe everyone should live by its words. Because there is no worse feeling in the world than remorse, trust you me. So sing one, sing all, to the words "I Love You," to those who matter to us the most, today.

BTW, it's sung beautifully by Ronan Keating, even more so by Garth Brooks... and the best yet, of course, by my Elliot Yamin ;)

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark

And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way
To show her every day
That she's my only one

If my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed

So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance
To tell her how I feel

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way
To show her every day
That she's my only one

If my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

woot woot!

Taylor Hicks aka The Dude With The White Hair aka Soul Patrol, has been crowned the new American Idol. Gotta say, I’m quite pleased that he beat Ms Katharine McPhee for the title.

Yay to pure, quirky talent. Nay to stereotypical Miss America types.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against the McPheever. In fact, she was the only girl that I fancied this season. (Okay, that’s a lie. I kinda also liked the young blacks chicas. No one can deny that they’ve got the voices, but hey, boring already lah their style!).

But my problem with Katharine is that she’s too pretty, too perfect to win. Yes, she’s the one with the “package,” but she’s too yawn-inducingly typical, yo.

But anywho, I’m elated that my favourite three were the final three. Just slightly disappointed that MY American Idol got booted last week. Yes, ladies and gents, Elliot Yamin was the one who did it the most for me.

Elliot's voice (oh that big, soulful voice—even more so than the Soul Patrol himself!) is nothing less than pure gold. Every time I hear him sing, I go tingly all over as my chest fills up with emotions. And when he serenades those jiwang numbers, my eyes would actually well up and I just melt away. I kid you not. That’s just about how powerful my darling Elliot is. As Paula said it to this funky white boy: "You pierce through the heart."

All this, and Elliot’s 90 percent deaf in his right ear. If you don’t call him amazing, I don’t know what is.

Wish Mr Yamin was the victor. Because, while Taylor entertains me, Elliot inspires me. Isn't that what an idol is supposed to do?

But oh well, as I’ve said before, with him out, Taylor’s definitely the next-best.

To me, anyways :)

12 days

Yup, s'been that long since I last blogged. Do I have withdrawal symptoms? Nope. But I do feel somewhat disappointed in meself for not having done better.

Of course, no one can blame me, since work’s been totally crazy. Pressure pressure pressure. Awards awards awards. Is this what I’m expected to want to live, breathe and die for? Pathetic at best.

Yes, been moaning and whining about my current profession for yonks now, this I realise. But hey, I can hardly be held culpable for lack of trying to look for another one. Times are friggin hard, it’s next to impossible to get an interview for a decent job. Sure, I could sell meself short and just go for whatever that’s on the buffet line. But hey, quality does matter for future fulfilment.

Anyways, after a cruel month-long abstinence from futsal, I finally got some breathing space to go for training with my team mates. Man, that felt good. Kicking balls once more with my lovely Catz… sheer bliss.

Speaking of balls, it’s a mere 18 days to the world’s most anticipated Cup. SO EXCITE! All those sleepless nights and zombie-like days that await me—wouldn’t change it for the world! Well, perhaps for diamonds la, ha ;Þ

Which brings me to my latest fixation: ice. Yes, I’m ashamed to admit that I have succumbed to this epidemic that most ladies the world over are suffering from. But don’t worry, I’m still grounded. Am not expecting to be covered from head-to-toe with them (donch worry, bebé!). It’s just that I’ve been sorta forced to study the 4C’s and how to judge a good diamond, and gotta tell you, it’s bloody addictive! And not to mention, ridiculously expensive! How anyone can walk around with a rock that’s any greater than 0.7 carat with peace of mind in this crazy city is beyond me, really.

And you know what else is difficult for me to comprehend? The grand distance between meself and my dearest sister and her baby boy. Painful as it was, I had to say goodbye to two of the most precious people in my life as they seek for a new life on the other side of the globe where my brother-in-law is from. No more hanging out with the calming (though overly skinny! ;Þ) figure of hers, nor hearing the excited cries of “bapoo!” (that’s Razyn-talk for “lampu”). Oh how I miss you two so :(

Anywho. Loads more updates are due, yes, but it’s rare that I get to leave this godforsaken office when the sun is still up, no... so ta!

04:56

Boss says it doesn't make sense that we're all still here, awake.

Go home, says he.

AYE!

03:52

Dizzy.

plan b

It's 02:01. I'm still in the office. And far away yet from getting the hell outta here.

At this time yesterday, I was staring at this same computer screen.

And on Sunday, was I spending quality time with my sister and her baby who will be migrating to Canada at the end of the week?

That's a resounding NO. I was here. Even a week before. Yup, on Labour Day weekend (makin' it the second year in a row). In this wretched place. Slaving away in the name of making money

... for the company, sheesh.

I need a new plan.

bumpy english terrains

Latest news: Spurs is demanding for a replay vs West Ham after losing to the latter 1-2 last weekend. It’s a big deal because the loss also caused them a fourth-place finishing in the EPL, simultaneously perishing their hopes of playing at Europe next season.

Ten players from the Tottenham squad suffered from food poisoning on the eve of Spurs's last league game of the season. They'd requested for the match to be postponed by 24 hours so that their players could recover, but the Premier League people didn't have much of a heart by offering only a two-hour delay to kick-off.

'In being given no viable option to postpone the match other than a two-hour delay to kick-off, our players were denied the possible opportunity of competing in the Champions League, while our fans have been left with a sense of suspicion and injustice at the way subsequent events unfolded,' Spurs chairman Daniel Levy said in a letter to Premier League chairman Dave Richards.

'Clearly, our governing body put us in an impossible situation and gave a significant advantage to Arsenal in competing for that fourth position.'

Levy said his club had the backing of other Premier League (FAPL) clubs in requesting a replay.

And we thought all the action+drama in EPL'06 have ended!

~*~

My heart goes out to Darren Bent for his exclusion from England’s World Cup 2006 contingent. It’s mind-boggling how Sven can not choose Charlton Athletic’s Darren Bent, being that he’s the top English striker in the EPL!

Instead, we’ll be seeing young unknown Theo Walcott, in action. The Arsenal player who’s never even played for his club’s senior squad. And he’s got a plane ticket booked for Germany? Get out of town! (ha)

For England's sake, I'm praying for Rooney's super-speedy recovery.

so it's over

United’s secured at second, with just one measly but grand point above the other red force, Liverpool. Meaning, we’ve just scraped past having to play the qualifier’s at Europe next season. Unless, of course, Arsenal win in Paris...

That’s another thing. Arsenal, though making history for themselves continentally, have had a nightmarish season at home. They only have the Almighty, as well as the mighty Thierry Henry, to thank for snatching fourth place from under the noses of an ill-fated Spurs side.

Though I ain’t no fan of the latter’s (nor the former’s, for that matter, HaH!), my heart goes out to Martin Jol’s boys who’ve been working hard at making the Gunners work even harder at earning a spot in next season’s Champions League… and were that close at ousting their North London rivals. Ouch.

And if it is to be that Rijkaard’s squad would end up lifting the cup on 15 May (fingers crossed), we know that the men in white would only be kicking themselves for the defeat to West Ham.

Well, whoever reigns as Kings of Europe, I suspect it will not make a difference to one French “king” in particular. Am sure many devout Gunners would shoot me down for saying this, but I’m gonna anyways: Thierry Henry will be bidding au revoir to Arsenal and saying ¡hola! to Barça. Drooool.

Come on, do you really think the striker’s gonna miss up on the golden opportunity to play alongside Ronaldinho and Eto’o? Hello!

Speaking of which, looks like it's a definite bye-bye for a certain Dutch forward for his Ruud walkaway. Tsk tsk.

world news

Apparently, the guy who gave a whole meaning to the word "world" has done the expected.

Current Malay sensation, Mawi, has broken off his engagement to hometown sweetheart, Nordiana.

Shocking, innit. I mean, who would've ever guessed that all the riches and glam would change someone? That's totally unheard of..!

since we're on everything brazillian today...

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.

He concludes by saying, "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"Oh no," the President exclaims, "That's terrible! That's horrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands, visibly shaken.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

Hahah!

did you know >> brazil

* is the largest and most populous country in South America, and fifth largest in the world.

* It spans over a vast area between central South America and the Atlantic Ocean, and borders Uruguay, Argentina, Paraguay, Bolivia, Peru, Colombia, Venezuela, Guyana, Suriname and the French department of French Guiana—basically, it neighbours every South American country save Chile and Ecuador.

* Its name came about from "brazilwood" (pau-brasil), a tree that was highly valued by early colonists.

* Since it was colonised by Portugal, Brazil’s official language is Portuguese. Spanish, however, is common at places where Brazil borders Spanish-speaking countries (heck, the whole of South America except Brazil has got Spanish as their mother tongue).

* There is such a thing as a mixture of Spanish and Portuguese, known as Portunhol/Portuñol.

* Football is the most popular sport. Other than the traditional gameplay, three other variations of the sport are widely practiced by Brazilians:

(1) futsal (the 5-a-side version),
(2) beach football (which originated in the beaches of Rio de Janeiro), and
(3) footvolley (a cross between football and volleyball that’s played on sand, where players can only use their head and feet to get the ball over the net onto the opponent's court)

-- source: wikipedia.com

brazillians on speed

I was at the Nokia Defend Your Turf Grand Finals last Saturday.

A little background: For 6 weekends since late March, local futsal teams from all over Pen Malaysia battled it out to earn the right to defend our turf against the famed Boys From Brazil.

I must say that the level of futsal displayed by the 6 regional champs is nothing short of brag-worthy. And the thing that impressed me the most is that not only the boys from Selangor and KL showed the concept of “rotation” into their gameplay, but also those from Terengganu, Kedah, Penang, and Johor—albeit not too apparently.

At the end of the day, Mahsuri FT from down south were crowned national champions. This, of course, meant that they clinched the chance that every other team have been dreaming of—testing their skills and mettle versus the best ballers from the streets of Rio.

Of course, the super-speedy Boys are in a totally different league (to say that they were breathtaking is a seriously insulting understatement). And of course, our home side lost. Gloriously at that (12-0 to be exact).

But, heck, that wasn’t reason enough for the bad showing from the home crowd. They were cheering the Brazillians on (this, for a team who has beaten Asia's reigning champions Iran, for crying out loud!) but jeering the local boys.

Shameful. Tsk tsk tsk.

wise words

I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.
-- Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park, Death, 1997

oregon man survives 12 nails to the head

33-year-old meth user attempted suicide using nail gun, doctors say

PORTLAND, Ore. -- An Oregon man who went to a hospital complaining of a headache was found to have 12 nails embedded in his skull from a suicide attempt with a nail gun, doctors say.

Surgeons removed the nails with needle-nosed pliers and a drill, and the man survived with no serious lasting effects, according to a report on the medical oddity in the current issue of the Journal of Neurosurgery.

The unidentified 33-year-old man was suicidal and high on methamphetamine last year when he fired the nails—up to 2 inches in length—into his head one by one.

The nails were not visible when doctors first examined the man in the emergency room of an unidentified Oregon hospital a day later. Doctors were surprised when X-rays revealed six nails clustered between his right eye and ear, two below his right ear and four on the left side of his head.

The study did not say how long the nails were, and a hospital spokeswoman refused to release that information. A photo published in the study suggests the nails range from 1½ to 2 inches long.

No one before is known to have survived after intentionally firing so many foreign objects into the head, according to the report, written by Dr. G. Alexander West, the neurosurgeon who oversaw the treatment of the patient.

The man at first told doctors he had had a nail gun accident, but later admitted it was a suicide attempt.

The nails came close to major blood vessels and the brain stem but did not pierce them. The patient was in remarkably good condition when he was transferred to Oregon Health & Science University in Portland, where the nails were removed.

The patient was later transferred to psychiatric care and stayed under court order for nearly a month before leaving against doctors’ orders. -- msnbc.com

Perhaps this dude's survival wasn't affected by the nails because his brains were so fried from all the ice in the first place! ;Þ

chinese women busting out of small bras

As diet gets fattier, bustlines expand as well as waistlines

BEIJING -- Bra producers have been forced to offer bigger cup-sizes in China because increased calorie consumption is busting all previous chest measurement records.

“It’s so different from the past when most young women would wear A- or B-cup bras,” Triumph brand saleswoman Zhang Jing told the Shanghai Daily from the Landmark Plaza of China’s commercial hub.

“You...never expect those thin women to have such nice figures if they are not plastic.”

The report, appearing on the daily's Web site, said that the Hong Kong-based lingerie firm Embry Group no longer produces A-cups for larger chest circumferences and has increased production of C-, D- and E-cup bras to meet
pressing demand.

The Beijing Institute of Clothing Technology released a report last week saying the average chest circumference of Chinese women has risen by nearly 1 cm (0.4 inch) to 83.53 cm (32.89 inches) since the early 1990s, the daily said.

This phenomenon, it said, was due to women eating more calories and taking part in more sports.

Similar growth in the average height of children prompted a rethink last year in Beijing on the height allowance for free bus rides. -- msnbc.com

Hrmmm, interesting...

an uninspiring tale

I’m tired.

So very tired.

I wake up in the mornings, hoping to feel refreshed, but instead I feel exhausted. Sluggish. Lacklustre.

It’s been like this for the past God-knows-how-long. Got too much on my mind. Too much on my plate.

Before, at least I’d have futsal to take it out on. Now, though, futsal seems to be slipping away slowly. It’s just not the same anymore. Maybe it’s the environ around me. Maybe it’s me.

But the ultimate thing that’s bogging me down is definitely work. It’s been brainstorm after brainstorm, day after day. I thought I came here to write. Man, how wrong was I.

Can you imagine sitting around and squeezing your brain’s juices for a minimum of 5 hours every day on top of the daily chores?

It’s absolutely mind-numbing, absolutely draining.

I’m tired.

So very tired...

princess or pickpocket?

I’ve never really been a fan of Tom Cruise's nor Katie Holmes's. I mean, I don’t not like them, but I don’t like them, either... you know what I mean. But the current hoo-ha on them, I simply can't resist.

Now, so everyone knows that Tom Cruise+Katie Holmes’s baby was born this week. Christened as Suri Cruise, the world wonders about this apparently unique choice of name.

Earlier reports say that Daddy Tom cited the clever double meaning behind “Suri”—“red rose” in Persian, as well as "princess" in Hebrew (the name’s supposed origin)—as the reason behind their choice.

Aww, how sweet, right?

Wrong!

It seems Hebrew speakers across the globe are raising their eyebrows at Cruise. They say that “Suri” has only two meanings: (1) A Syrian, and (2) a manner of shooing a female!

It gets worse:

"Hebrew expert Jonathan Went says, 'I think it's fair to say they have made a mistake here. There are variations of the way the Hebrew name for princess is spelt but I have never seen it this way.' Suri can also be translated into a Hindi boy's name, and it also means "pointy nose" in some Indian dialects and "pickpocket" in Japanese." -- theSuperficial.com

Oh me, oh my. I wonder how Mr Mission Impossible is gonna get himself and his family out of this mess...

ain't technologically handicapped no mo', yo

Checkit:

Got me a brand-new celly
One that’s oh-so funky
Oh-so funky like me!
;Þ
Many call it the “twister,” as the keypad does an impressive twisting action to switch from phone to (2 megapixel) camera mode.

Twist a further 90˚ and the snazzy Nokia 3250 transforms into a music player, complete with play/pause, stop, forward and rewind buttons. One which comes with a 512MB MicroSD card, which means that my new phone is also my new mp3 player that can hold over 300 high-quality tunes (or circa 750 songs if I upgrade to a 1GB MicroSD).

Love the looks (surprise, surprise: though it comes in pink, green and silver, me who loves colour settled for the sleek all-black; go figure). Love the sound (music+phone=two of the most important stuff in my life). Love the brand (my motto: it's Nokia or nothing, hah!).

Could be less bulky, though…

Oh well. Can’t have everything, right?

More about the Nokia 3250 here.

my grand heartbreak

Everyone who knows me will know darn well that I am very, very attached to my cell phone. I go everywhere with it (yes, even the loo ;Þ ), and am totally stupefied without it. In the words of my boss, “it’s like you’re velcroed to the thing.”

I’ve been using cellies since 1996, changed them not more than once every two years, so that makes it five different ones in total.

Being one of the few things that I cherish most in this whole wide world, I take great care of my phone, and am usually very careful with it. Call me a drama queen, but I seriously treat my phone like it’s royalty.

Why? Because my celly’s always been a dear, trusted friend. Always there for me through thick, thin and boredom. It’s been my saviour during emergencies, and has always provided comfort whenever fear kicks in for whatever reason. Heck, I can’t even get a shut eye unless I know that my celly’s right by my side, for only then will I get the peace of mind of being safe.

To cut a long story short, I can boldly say that what I have with my cell phone is an intense love affair.

So you can imagine how crushed I am right now that I lost my sweet Nokia 7610 over the weekend. Why? All due to a moment’s carelessness. Everything, lost, within a matter of minutes.

The shitty part is that I have loads of pictures in there that I haven’t managed to upload. Why? Because my PC at home’s currently so effed up, it can’t take much right now.

The shittier part is because of this, I have no back-up of my contacts. That’s circa 800 numbers in there, people. That’s ten friggin years of personal collection.

The shittiest part is, some of my fondest memories in the form of messages are in there. Almost everything that I’ve ever received and sent from/to my bebé from the first time we met. Not forgetting the other sweet stuff I got from time to time from other dear friends. Call me a sentimental fool, but these are (were) some of my most prized possessions in life.

My significant other tells me to not dwell over this loss, to just get over it, to just move on. It’s easier said than done, for serious… Especially since I don’t have the finances to get meself a new phone :(

I hate being technologically handicapped. I hate feeling so incomplete, so lost, so… dead.

roo who?

Another bitter rival welcomed at the holy grounds of Old Trafford, another bitter rival beaten at the holy grounds of Old Trafford.

Not to mention, another outstanding display from young Wayne Rooney, the scorer of one and the provider of another in our 2-0 win over Arsenal last night.


May Man United continue to play brilliantly... and may Chelsea do the complete opposite, amen.

I leave you now with these great words...

Suave Arsenal no match for grand masters United

Arsenal must be developing a tax exile's taste for foreign parts. They could never make themselves as comfortable at Old Trafford as they had in the Bernabéu or the Stadio delle Alpi. Manchester United fully deserved this win that gives them a run of nine Premiership victories in a row. The visitors, following the midweek Champions League match, did wane in the second half here but United had made absolutely sure that they would tire.

It could all have gone wrong for Arsenal even sooner than it did. The fixture did not bedevil the referee as it has done in its unruly past but Graham Poll should still have left the ground with his mind churning. By then he would have heard all about his 43rd-minute error, when he failed to see that the defender Kolo Touré had palmed Wayne Rooney's shot on to the post with a dive that would have done credit to a goalkeeper. At least we now know why the Ivorian wears gloves. -- http://football.guardian.co.uk

brouhaha @ office

It's Friday. Which means, people around the office are either much nicer because the weekend's a mere sniff away, or downright meaner since the weekend's still not here yet.

This morning, while negotiating with my eyelids to please, please stay open, a senior-ranking colleague came stomping in my direction. Thankfully, it wasn't me she was pissed off at but the new dude in the next cubicle.

Apparently, she overheard the latter's conversation with the IT guys, and was enraged at how impolite (F word and all) it was.

Senior Colleague: You new people have no right to speak in such fashion, much less use swear words!

New Dude: Hey, I wasn't cursing at the IT person, but at the situation!

Senior Colleague: It doesn't matter. Why must you be so rude about it?

New Dude: What is up with you people in this company? Why is everyone here so uptight?

Big mistake.

Senior Colleague: Well, excuse us, but we have values here!

New Dude: Who are you to talk like this to me?

BIGGER mistake. She's only the deputy head of one of the departments, and has served this company for God-knows-how-long.

I say, God speed, New Dude.

I also say, I ought shake hands with the new dude. Because thanks to him, my eyelids became scared shitless, and refused to misbehave anymore. Well, not until after lunch, anyways.

Anywho, if you found my war-in-the-office tale inspiring, then have I got some goodies in store for you below. Enjoy. But don't you dare for a second think that these great stuff were written by me (though I sure wish that I did come up with some of 'em!).

Creative Comebacks For The Workplace

1. Obviously you're unable to assimilate my stimulating concepts into your blighted and simplistic world-view.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

4. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?!?

5. I'll give you a nice, shiny quarter if you'll go away.

6. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

7. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

8. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

9. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

10. How about never? Is never good for you?

11. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

12. You're just jealous because the little voices talk to ME.

13. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

14. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

15. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.

And my favourites...

16. I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.

17. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

18. You sound reasonable. It must be time to up my medication.

19. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

20. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

Happy picking that fight :)

man utd will push chelsea "very close" -- beckham

David Beckham has tipped former club Manchester United to push Chelsea "very close" in the race for the Premiership.

England and Real Madrid midfielder Beckham has watched his former Old Trafford team-mates reduce Chelsea's lead at the top to seven points.

And he told the Daily Mirror: "I think it can go all the way to the wire, I really do. You never know because Chelsea still have a seven-point advantage but I do think it is going to be very close because United are playing well.

"Their performances are great, they are scoring goals and they have so many players within the team who can get goals like Wayne Rooney, Ruud (van Nistelrooy) and (Louis) Saha. And they are all playing well.

"Chelsea have got a great team and a strong manager so we will see but I think United are on a roll and it's going to be much closer than people expect.

"I am really looking forward to seeing what happens."

-- soccernet.com

You and us all, Becks.

Oh, and whatever happens, however much Real is struggling, don't you fear. As I will always and forever love you, my darling hubby. Don't you ever doubt that ;)

and then there were four

Well well well… Arsenal added an entry into their history books this morning when they advanced to their first-ever Champions League semi-finals.

Being a Man U fan, I have a love-hate relationship with this result. Hate it, due to obvious reasons—dengki lah, what else ;Þ On a more serious note, love it because I have a soft spot for English teams to do well at Europe.

Now, what I love-love is the fact that my favourite Spanish team, Barcelona, also booked a spot in the other semis. And great as they are, it wasn’t all cookies and cream for Barça, no way José (more apt if to sub this for “no way, Frank”, no?). Their opponent's a strong side, this season’s dark horse which bulldozed over Manchester United as well as Liverpool.

In fact, Benfica seemed a threatening force, which resulted in Barça kicking off looking somewhat nervous and shaky. And it totally did not help that in the fourth minute, Ronaldinho’s penalty kick was saved by Benfica’s keeper, Moretto de Souza who was as marvellous as he was yummy ;)

But Ronnie refused to dwell on this little slip-up. He started doing what he did best—terrorising his markers with his "macam tipu" skills—and eventually made amends by sending one home 15 minutes later. And just two minutes before full time was over, his fellow “Terrible Twin” sealed their victory with the final goal of the match.

Soooo... next up: Arsenal vs Villareal. And Barça vs Milan.

BARCELONA vs AC MILAN! It’ll be tough, as I’m sure AC Milan is all fired up to not carelessly let the title slip so easily through their fingers a la last season. But, hey, you can bet your ass that Barça ain't gonna go down without a tough fight, either.

People, we're in for some pretty explosive stuff here!

Anywho, my dream Champions League’06 Finals = Barça vs Arsenal. Of course, I’d want my boys Eto’o, Ronaldinho, Gio and Valdes to lift the cup. Heck, for such a great team, Barça’s record at Europe has been less than satisfactory—they’ve only emerged champs just once, way back in 1992.

But then again, Arsenal has never even gone beyond CL quarter-finals before this. So the sentimental part of me wouldn’t mind them being the successful side of 2006.

Wouldn’t mind that much, that is. After all, I am a Red Devil, you know!

wise words

“Respect your rivals,

try to be as honest as possible

& enjoy as much as you can.”

-- Ronaldinho (World Footballer of 2004 & 2005)

on what constitutes ‘Joga Bonito’

See how truly legendary Ronaldinho is in the "Joy" Joga Bonito ad

2 bitters & a sweet thang

Whoa. Can't believe it's April already. What did the last month bring?

Well, March was a bittersweet journey for me. Actually, more bitter than it was sweet.

First bitter issue in the month of March: work. The bosses are hiking up the stress levels, pressuring each and every member of my team to come up with award-winning creatives. The shittier part is, we have two bosses to go through—Ms Creative Director, and her big boss, Mr Executive Creative Director. And these two are as similar as night is to day, i.e. the former’s idea of a kick-ass idea is the latter’s yawn-inducer. And we gotta please both of them. Near-impossible task, people. Tension tension tension.

On top of that, I am still on contract. It’ll be two years come June. Meaning, I haven’t had any annual leave for almost 24 months. Meaning, whenever I go MIA, it’s on unpaid leave. Meaning, not only do I have to pay for my own medical bills, but when I’m on MC, I get zilch. Meaning, I think I’m shortchanged here.

Their excuse? Headcount issues. My take? My ass! I’m the only writer on my team, they obviously need me, and they can still hide behind this lame-ass justification? Puh-lease. Friggin cheapskates.

Anyways, on to my second bitter highlight en el mes de marzo. My true passion, futsal. My team have been working our butts off for this one particular annual ladies-only tournament, sponsored by popular TV show 3R. This year, the 3R tournament entered its third edition. You’d think that it could only be better than last year’s right? WRONG. To cut a super-long story short, the organisers of this year’s don’t give two shits about how far the local ladies futsal has come. We paid them for a futsal tournament, they gave us a triathlon instead.

The preliminaries were held at the usual futsal venue in Sunway. Prior to that, a manager’s meeting was held. Typically, this is an avenue for discussion between team managers/captains and the organisers. This time, however, it was more a one-way street—the organisers announced the way they wanted the tournament to run, and no worries nor suggestions were entertained.

Tournament day came, prelims played. Representatives from the last ten remaining teams (out of 60) stayed for the manager’s meeting. Again, it was a one-way communication. What’s worse, the organisers couldn’t even agree on a format, and were screaming at each other like little brats.

Worst still, the organisers announced that the ten finalists would not be playing futsal per se at the (so-called) Grand Finals, scheduled for two weeks after. Why? Because the organisers wanted to “showcase” ladies futsal to the public by having the Grand Finals at Berjaya Times Square. INSIDE Berjaya Times Square.

Meaning, the court size was a joke. Worst still, the rules were an even bigger joke. It was a mish-mash of sports… Borrowing the words of the Fly FM promo, “Made from 80% street soccer, three cubes of futsal, a little hockey, and voila!”

I kid you not. In the supposed interest of “protecting” the players, we futsallers were forced to play a game which we aren't familiar with. Kick-off the futsal way. The rest of the rules, follow street soccer, i.e. no entering the D, keepers can’t defend outside her D, keepers can’t throw in, oh, and kick-ins within close proximity only, a la like hockey. WTF?

On top of that, the intelligent organisers refused to pay extra to put upper netting. Meaning, they couldn’t give two cahoots about safety. I mean, come on, this is a game of ball. It don’t take no fortune teller to foresee that without upper netting, the ball might just bloody well go up so high, it’ll break something. Or worst still, some poor child’s head. But nooo, the organisers are too dense to think of such things. Anyways, halfway through our Grand Final games, organisers called for a short meeting with team managers.

“You guys have to keep the ball low. Please control your shots. Berjaya have warned us that if the ball goes over once more, they might just put a halt to today’s event. Please help us out, yeah, or else if anything breaks, we organisers gotta pay for it.”

The nerve! When we demanded “why didn’t you put upper netting?!” they just did what they do best—ignore.

Now you tell me. How are we supposed to play our usual game of futsal—the thing we’ve been working at for the past three-or-so years—with such restrictions?

And the golden question: how do they expect people to take our beloved local ladies futsal seriously when they witness such idiocy (i.e. a banner that says “Grand Finals of Ladies Futsal” but see us ladies playing, in the words of the ref, “like a bunch of piranhas attacking the ball”)? Very, very upsetting this.

Thanks gosh for my sweet thang au mois de marche. Can’t really get too much into this just yet, but let’s just say this wildcat has finally found a home that she's comfortable in. Purr ;)

ruud awakening

After weeks of being sidelined, Manchester United's Ruud van Nistelrooy became the solo hero for his Red Devils side by scoring the only goal in his comeback game this morning (EPL face-off versus West Ham).

The good news is, the win put us 5 points clear of closest opponent, Liverpool. That, and we've got a game in hand.

The better news is, the win put us just 9 points behind current leaders Chelsea. And, we have one game in hand.

The gap's narrowing. Keep the faith, people. Gotta keep the faith.

GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED!

~*~

On a more sombre note…

Roman Abramovich's persistence in trying to add Milan's Andriy Shevchenko to Chelsea's payroll seems to have paid off, with reports suggesting that the Ukraine striker will sign for the Stamford Bridge club this summer.

Chelsea's owner has been courting Shevchenko for three years but had been turned down three times. However, the Russian billionaire appears to have made it fourth time lucky, with Shevchenko agreeing in principle to a four-year contract worth in excess of £110,000 a week.

Personal terms have apparently been agreed with the player and Chelsea have been assured that he is prepared to put in a transfer request to Milan.

The San Siro club value him at £35m but Chelsea would appear to be content—and wealthy enough—to afford such a fee, even on top of nearly £23m in wages which they would have to pay the player for his services over those four years. However, the £10m-rated Argentinian Hernán Crespo could go the other way in part exchange. -- The Guardian

How dare they! MY Andriy!!!

Sigh. If this is true, I sure hope that Chelsea will meet AC Milan next season, and the Blues will get their asses whopped… by Hernán Crespo, no less.

Hah.
HaH!
HAH!!!

my once true love

I've always had a soft spot for rhythmic gymnastics.

How could I not, since I myself meddled in the sport for three years of my life. Unfortunately, due to the "sexy" nature of it all, I made the painful choice to quit when I was 12.

Let me tell you that not a day goes by that I don't wonder how different my life would be should I have chosen to fight on. Don't get me wrong, I do not regret my decision. I mean, some of the fondest memories I have are ones from when I was in secondary school, ones that would not have been created should I have kept the tight training schedule I had in my upper-primary years.

It's just that, how can I not stop to ponder over this ever so often when most of my friends whom I used to train with under the guidance of Ms Petrina Low went on to become this country's top gymnasts!

You've got that right. My alma mater, Convent Bukit Nanas (CBN for short), produced quite a number of legendary talents. Farrah Hani Imran. Farah Zelinah Kemal. And even Durratun Nashihin Rosli.

Yes, the same Durratun who dazzled her way on the dancefloor to become the darling of our Commonwealth Games 2006 contingent. The same Durratun who amassed a whopping four silvers, making herself the Malaysian athlete bringing back the most number of medals for our country.

Watching her strut her stuff on the idiot box, I must say how amazed I am at how far the sport has gone in this country. Full of pride and amazement, I am.

And for you people who reckon "playing around with a hoola-hoop, bouncing a ball, and twirling a ribbon is hardly a serious sport," well, reckon again. Consider the countless hours of training per week (try juggling a six-hour daily sweating session with studies), the endless injuries, the lack of life outside the gym...Oh, not to mention, the truly unforgiving diet to stay as stick-thin as possible but still have the energy and stamina to do all of the above!

Also, here's something for you to ponder over: for the four silvers that she's brought back from OZ, Durratun has pocketed over RM130,000! You see, under the National Sports Council (NSC) incentive programme, an individual gold is worth RM80,000, a silver RM40,000 and a bronze RM20,000. As for a team of no more than 5 people, the prize money will be split between the members.

If you don't call a RM130K cash incentive serious, I don't know what is.

Durratun Nashihin Rosli, I salute thee. Thank you for highlighting Malaysia on the world map of rhythmic gymnastics.

hooligans of the western world unite?

Hmm, perhaps the 150-person-capacity temp prison (more info in my previous post) might not create too big a dent after all.

How can it, when you've got idiots in the thousands with the kind of stone-age mindset as exhibited below?

A chilling warning from fascists

ROME: The World Cup in Germany is set to become a battleground between fascists and Muslims, an Italian member of a new European neo-Nazi movement warned on Tuesday.

In a statement published by Italian daily Repubblica, the member of AS Roma's notorious ultras hooligan group claims neo-Nazis across Europe met in Braunau in Austria to plan attacks against supporters from Islamic countries during the World Cup in Germany from June 9 to July 9.

“We are united. For the first time we are talking and planning together, with the English, the Germans, the Dutch, the Spanish, everyone with the same objective. At the World Cup there will be a massacre,” said the Italian ultra.

“We will all be in Germany and there will be Turks, Algerians and Tunisians. The Turks, we can't stand them. In our country (Italy) there are not many, but in Germany, there are many of those guys there. They are Islamic terrorists.

“We will attack them. They are all enemies that need to be eliminated, just like the police." -- AFP

Sigh. It's depressing what the world has come to, innit.

go to jail. go directly to jail. do not pass go, do not collect $200.

If you're thinking of putting your hooliganism caps on at this year's World Cup Finals, think again as you might find yourself being chucked away behind bars!

Cells a la those found in Hamburg’s main police station are currently being built in the German city. The makeshift prison, with a capacity of up to 150 prisoners, costs circa a whopping US$4.5 million!

A law has also been passed that will see footie imbecils being detained in the said jail for up to two weeks.

Super.

rampageous reds

Liverpool hammered Birmingham with a jaw-dropping 7-0 scoreline this morning.

And it wasn't just some random game, people. We're talking about an FA cup quarter-final berth here, for goodness sakes!

It's total madness, I tell you. How the hell did Birm give away a freekick, and let Sami Hyypia—Liverpool's centre-back—head one home after only 54 seconds of game?

As if that's not mistery enough, the guys in blue allowed their goal deficit to double just over three minutes later.

And the rest, as they say, is history. One that's complete with an own goal at that.

For serious, were the Birm defenders even present at all? SEVEN-effing-ZERO surely doesn't suggest so, innit.

I'd kill myself if I were the manager, I kid you not. That is, if someone else doesn't beat me to it.

"Indeed, such was the misery of this thumping defeat that come the end Steve Bruce and not the Birmingham defence was most in need of protection. The Birmingham manager, sheltered by a significant police presence for virtually the entire second half, suffered the ignominy of an irate fan running in his direction before the interval. The supporter was belatedly stopped in his tracks though Liverpool most certainly were not." -- http://football.guardian.co.uk/

u, but still

I went to watch The Pink Panther on Saturday night. Gotta say that Steve Martin is so funny it ain't funny! (hehe) Adored Jean Reno as well, but thought that Kevin Kline and especially Beyoncé could've done a little better.

Anyways, time for my gripe for the day ;Þ First and foremost, I just do not understand how some people can be so selfish as to keep on chitachattering throughout the movie. Yeah, yeah, this ain't anything new, but still. I mean, come on, how does one have complete disregard for other people's feelings? The whole point of splurging that RM10 or so is for us to enjoy the drama on the screen, not your real-life dramas! If you wanna do as you please, e.g. talk on your phone, hey, then allow me to do as I please, e.g. kick your behind so hard you'll be cursing and punching your own lips for misbehaving.

But you know what's worse than people stealing the limelight from the movie cast? Little people doing it. For serious, I have major issues with children who keep on talking, no, whining, to their mommies all throughout the show.

Children of the damned: Where is Pink Panther?

Mother of the damned: Pink Panther is the diamond ring... there, look, do you see it?

5 minutes later.

Children of the damned: Mommy, where's Pink Panther?

Mother of the damned: Pink Panther is the diamond ring, honey.

Children of the damned: Where? I don't see it, mommy.

Mother of the damned: You will see it later, okay?

3 minutes later.

Children of the damned: Mommy, where's Pink Panther?

2 minutes later.

Children of the damned: Mommy, where's Pink Panther?

Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther? Mommy, where's Pink Panther?

Arghhh! If you don't shut your big mouth I'mma stuff the goddamn Pink Panther up your... arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Granted, the movie's rated "U," but it was a 9.35pm show, for crying out loud! Shouldn't your bloody little midget be asleep? Yes, I have no right to tell you how to raise your kid. But have some consideration for others lah, please! If you know that your kid is an annoying little twit who won't bloody shut his mouth, my advice is you keep him at home unless you don't treasure his life!

I am so gonna be considered mean after this post. But trust you me, I'm really not. Unless you do stupid things that would bring out the bitchiness in me.

Hey, it's a defense mechanism, alright!

quote of the day

"Last season they saw the quarter-final on TV

and now we must do the same."

-- Jose Mourinho on his team Chelsea's exit out of Europe at the feet of Barcelona

sour portuguese grape

Chelsea got booted out of the Champion's League by Barcelona this morning.

Even then, the former's manager, famous for his super-size arrogance, still insists that Chelsea is the better team. The Portuguese, who lifted the most rooted-for footballing trophy in Europe with Porto two years ago, insists that while Barça is a great team, they haven't managed to beat Chelsea when the latter had a full 11-man squad.

"For me the critical point was the result at Stamford Bridge. We were playing with 10 players for most of the first leg [when Barça defeated Chelsea 2-1]. I have not seen two games with 11v11 and we have not seen Barcelona win against us when we have had 11 players." -- Jose Mourinho (from soccernet.com)

Aiyoyo, Mourinho. Nobody—be it fans or foes—can negate Chelsea's greatness. Nor can anyone deny that you're one of the best managers in the world.

But what would indeed bring you closer to godly (as you have so openly proclaim yourself to be) is a display of gracefulness in defeat.

Besides, one is immediately deemed uncool the moment one screams out that one is cool, innit.